throwback website

the other day i was browsing the web for a vacation rental home and i found the worst website i've seen since 1995:

http://www.ski-utah-rentals.com/

the only thing missing is

<bgsound src="annoyingmusic.wav" loop="true">

or something similar.

i bet the camera guys were all peeing in their pants from laughter

here's the clip from biggest loser that i mentioned in my previous post. you know, the one with obese people jumping through hoops. sorry to keep you waiting. i've edited it a bit, ya know, cut out the dull parts. enjoy.




perhaps you think i'm a horrible, horrible person for posting this. but shame on you too, because i know you were laughing. to be fair, you should see me attempting to play with/care for a baby. it's almost as funny. but yeah, next time i suck really bad at something i'll try to remember to film it.

this stuff only happens on tv

andy & i went on a 7 day cruise from long beach, california to some places in mexico. the first afternoon out in the middle of the ocean there was an announcement that the captain was going to turn the boat around (head back toward san diego) and rendezvous with a coast guard helicopter because there has been an medical emergency. it was a 3-hour ordeal. those boats can't really turn on a dime, ya know. check out the action:

coast guard helicopter in sight. beer in hand. andy's thumb: way up.

of course the ship's staff chased everyone off the decks.
naturally, everyone went to hang out under this gigantic glass
roof for a good view. honestly, i was a little scared, but
no way was i going to miss this.

rescue at sea.

i have a much deeper respect for the coast guard, now that i've seen them in action. in all seriousness, it was an amazing rescue. both the helicopter pilot and the ship captain displayed some mad skillz. we never found out what the emergency was or what happened to the person who was air lifted.

note: i know it's been a while since i've blogged about the reality shows i'm watching. i'm not really watching that much good stuff lately- i've had to cut back for the sake of fitness. just the other day i saw an awesome moment on the biggest loser and must post it or link to it. involves obese people jumping through hoops. if you can't imagine how that is funny, then...i'm sorry, we can't be friends.

just some random thoughts

• what is the deal with q-tips? the box says "a variety of uses." and there are graphics on the back illustrating a few examples, none of which include cleaning the ear canal. this is funny because most people i know, myself included, only buy q-tips for the purpose of cleaning ear canals.

• perhaps you've seen the signs near downtown atlanta pointing to different neighborhoods and districts. for example, a sign might have arrows to sweet auburn, cabbagetown, etc. i'm familiar with most of the names, but the one that always gets me is "SoNo district." perhaps you've seen that particular sign at the I-75/85 offramp to north ave. and thought "what the hell is soNo?" i've lived in atlanta for almost 10 years and i've never *ever* heard anyone throw out "soNo." fo sho.

• there was a really awesome radio station that andy & i listened to while we were in durango, colorado. "four corners rock" out of farmington, new mexico. beats the pants off project 9-6-1. they didn't play any shinedown, nickelback, or janes addiction, and we heard chevelle, some lesser known papa roach, and some other good stuff. i was hoping that they would stream music online so i checked for a website. here it is - http://www.krwn.com. so...i guess that's a "no," right?

• an arrangement of shops in a strip mall from right to left: my friends place (sandwiches), subway, soup garden (soup & salad bar), honey baked ham store, jenny craig, lane bryant. humorous.

i love eBay [and young girls]

back from vacation. will post some stories later.

so i am browsing eBay for a cocktail dress. i know that sounds poor/stupid/risky, but you can get some insane deals on really nice clothes if you stick to brands/designers you're familiar with. the really cheap stuff comes from the dresses that were worn once and then cast aside. i'm looking for another dress by the same designer as my current favorite dress (BCBG max azria). i found a cute one for next-to-nothing, but had some concerns about the neckline & how it fit in the bust area since it's a different shape than the dress i own...don't wanna look like a complete ho at andy's office holiday party (just a partial ho). i emailed the seller a question, as any savvy eBayer would do, and figured since the seller was a lady she'd be willing to help a sister out. read and be amused:

Dear [username]

this looks like a great dress. i own another bcbg max azria dress, size 6 and it's my favorite dress, which is why i'm looking for another. the problem is that i'm afraid my top's gonna pop out, since this dress has a deep v. i wear bra size [TMI]. might i ask what size bra you wear and how the dress fits you, or if you have a photo of yourself in the dress that you can email me? i'd buy the dress right now, but am concerned about how the top fits....

[alright, i knew it was kinda personal to ask for a photo, but i've done this a few times and no one seems to have a problem with it, they just crop out their head or blur the face a little. and i only asked because it was apparent that the seller was female and was selling it as an individual, not a business.]

Dear skippy304,

Um, "Skippy", this was not my dress. I have 3 lovely, beautiful daughters between the ages of 19 and 23. None of them is going to model the dress for you. Sorry about that. I've given dimensions and other than that, frankly, I don't know what to tell you. If you do own BCBG, you're pretty familiar with how this line is cut. And I must say, in all honesty, that this is one of the creepiest requests I've ever had from anyone. I'm a 58 year old woman with my doctorate in educational administration, and frankly I hope I'm reading too much into your request.

- [username]


Dear [username],

Sorry if I offended you, I wasn't trying to be a creeper. Perhaps my user name threw you off. I am a 27 year old woman and was just hoping for a bit more insight since I can't try the dress on. For what it's worth, I've got a BS in computer science.


i was tempted to write "thanks for the info. in that case, i'm most interested in photos of your daughters when they were 8, 9 years old." (that line courtesy of my coworker, doug). anyway, seller responded that, yes, my user name did indeed throw her off. that was all she wrote. then i visited her "about me" page on eBay and here's the good stuff:

"Hello, friends and fellow Ebayers...I'm the mother of two wonderful daughters...

[wait, earlier she said she had 3...did one of them die?]

...both of whom are now in college. My youngest is a freshman at Virginia Tech, where she's majoring in Human Nutrition and planning to obtain her Master's degree in Public Health as well. She hopes to work with an international children's relief agency, providing nutritional information and assistance to those who need it the most. Our oldest daughter is studying to be a social worker at Temple University. One is tiny, blond and has green eyes; the other is 6' tall, with dark hair and blue eyes. They are such extraordinary children, both of whom I'm very proud....

[ok, maybe the 3rd daughter is a troll so she gets no mention]

I've found some wonderful, wonderful buys on Ebay. During a recession, there are so many opportunities to purchase truly unique, special items and give them a good new home - at great prices! I pride myself on superior customer service, with a personal touch."

did ya get that last part? nice. i still might buy the dress. it's $30 which is a fantastic deal. if it does end up looking really slutty, i'll be sure to take a photo of my ample bosom & post it here for all the creepers out there.

a few good things, for once

since my last post was just me bitching about stuff, let me counter with some positives:

1. free lunch today from panera bread. w00t.

2. scored a goal during last sunday's hockey game. a backhand goal, at that.

3. i have a job, a place to live, and food. and willy's is right up the street.

4. going on vacation for a week, leaving sunday

5. my boyfriend andy is the shit

and if you haven't seen the halloween costume, here it is:

just a few minor annoyances

a member of the parking committee at andy's condo complex thinks she made a move for justice the other night by having my car towed from the visitor lot at 2:30am. as the chron would say: unbelievable. i'm not exactly sure who the vigilante is, but apparently this person thinks that i should no longer qualify as a "visitor" and wants to teach me a lesson. i won't bore you with the technicalities, but i was parked in a legal space for less than 8 hours. i might add that andy is a member of the parking committee, has seen a few violators and issued warnings, but has never resorted to towing. we sent an email to the committee demanding a reimbursement and an apology. no luck so far, but it's only been one day. i'm plotting my revenge, and it's gonna be sweeeeeeet. i'll take your suggestions on how to get even.

tried to file a motion at fulton co. superior court today. left my office a little before 4:30 knowing that i probably wouldn't make it in the door by 5pm. miraculously i was able to get downtown, park, and walk over with a few minutes to spare. i dashed up the stairs (pryor st entrance) and saw a sign that read "this entrance is closed to the public. please use central ave entrance." whatever. i didn't have time for that. i pushed past the sign, the doors weren't locked, so i figured i was clear. threw my stuff on the security belt and the guard says "ma'am unless you work here you cannot come through" and i'm like "but the clerks office is RIGHT THERE!!" really, the clerk's office is 20 feet from the security point. of course there was no point arguing. and no point going around, because it's a long jog around to the back of the building. so i aborted the mission, motion unfiled.


some guy in line next to me at the store today heard me say to the cashier "i have my own bag," and replied "overachiever." i kept my mouth shut on that one.

flu shots are for the weak

i haven't gotten a flu shot, nor do i plan to get one. here's why: pride. plain and simple. i know it sounds ridiculous, but that's my deal. i take damned good care of myself. i usually get at least 7 hours of sleep each night, i exercise 3 times per week, i wash my hands very frequently, my job isn't extremely stressful, i don't spend much time around small children, and i eat healthy meals, most of which do not come from a fast food restaurant. some of these practices require more effort than i would like, but it's totally worth it, and a lot of them are actually enjoyable. try it sometime. if my immune system can't handle the flu assault, well, then i guess i deserve to get sick. i'll keep you posted.

and now i shall get off my high-horse. good night.

old man + snuggie = moderately amusing

i could have used one of these on saturday...although i would have had some problems running around throwing the football in it.

some old guy at the neighboring tailgate party

perhaps you are aware of georgia tech's big win over virginia tech. andy convinced me to go with him onto the field after the game ended. here's a shot a few minutes before the frat guys broke the goal post.

(it took a really long time for the goal post to come down...pathetic.)

yeah it was a good weekend.

flood damage

the weather on saturday was awesome so andy and i got our butts off the couch and went for a long walk/jog/adventure. we walked through some neighborhoods near historic downtown vinings since i live on the edge of all that. we saw some evidence from the recent flooding, mainly dirty trees and bushes and then yard sign ads for water damage companies. it's only been two weeks and we both have already forgotten how much destruction it caused since *fortunately* we weren't affected by it. we went down cochise drive and saw some pretty alarming signs from the flooding - i never realized how close these homes are to the chattahoochee.

photo courtesy of ajc.com 9/22 (shared by bleufalcon)

if we hadn't been roaming through such a wealthy neighborhood the aftermath would have been heart-breaking - construction debris everywhere, emergency trailers parked on the curb, toys & patio items scattered about from where they had once been afloat in the yard, etc - but since this is a notoriously rich part of town i hardly felt bad for the material damage we saw. don't think i'm a bad person, i mean, it sucks for the families, but at least they have the resources to rebuild their homes and buy new cars.

as we were walking we saw a lot of the homeowners outside in their yards. one guy was on his phone and kinda waved us down, so we thought he needed a hand with something or just wanted to ask us a question. you could see the water line on the house, it was probably at 6-8 feet. we paused in front of his driveway, then heard him say into the phone "hey man, i'll call ya back." so we thought it must be important if he hung up his phone to chat with us. i was like hey, this is horrible, what's goin' on? then it was clear to us that he didn't need help, because all he talked about was the monetary value of the assets his parents and neighbors lost. something about his mom and an upscale boutique, a neighbor with 4 million in damage to his car collection, etc. yeah man, you're impressing me now. oh, but we did learn something from him: almost everyone in that area had insurance.

this guy was ridiculous. probably 25 years old. not very physically attractive (but then again, most people look bad standing next to andy). socially awkward. textbook close-talker. there was an air of desperation about his friendliness and his obvious need to talk about his parents money. here's my story about him: he's an only child born to some rich people who, by giving him everything he ever wanted, denied him the opportunity to develop essential learning/coping/social skills. he went off to college, as all upper-class kids do, but probably dropped out to help a friend start a business, thinking "who needs a degree, we're gonna be rich!" well, that business tanked, and he can't make it in the real world. but no problem, because he's got mom & dad. the friends he had at one point have forgotten him because they're busy with their jobs and their girlfriends... makes sense, i guess.

so i made the mistake of telling him my name. he knows i went to tech, and knows i live in the area. i'm expecting a facebook request at any moment.

here's a photo my boss emailed to me of one of her neighbors.
she lives in sandy springs, just outside 285. fortunately her
house is on a hill away from the river. looks like the rich
folk had themselves a grand ol' time.

recycling excites me more than the twilight series

these are brand new recycling bins at andy's condo complex. pretty maids all in a row, all shiny and clean. i couldn't resist.

channeling oscar the grouch

the old recycling program only accepted plastics 1 & 2, aluminum, and newspaper. so we had to stash all our other plastics, glass, office paper, and soup cans for recycling elsewhere. the new program accepts most stuff, even plastics 3-7. although we're just waiting to see how many people dump their trash in the bins. i don't get it. every time i put something in the bin i see someone's bag of household trash. don't be that person.

note: this recycling bin is new. very clean. i would never get in a normal used bin. just so you know.

u-scan fail, take two

i will admit that this time the perpetrator doesn't have as many groceries as the lady from yesterday, but she still has too many for the u-scan to be practical. i guess it's hard to tell just how packed this *bas-cart is from this angle. my bad. and by the time i took these pics she had already scanned two huge bags worth of goods.

sorry these pictures suck, it was hard for me to take a steady photo whilst giggling.

*bas-cart: basket/cart hybrid. you only wish your grocery store had these. the handling is amazing.

um, for realz?

another "wtf" moment caught on camera:

after i got this great shot, i proceeded to the nearest manned checkout lane with my 4 items - no line. i'm about to go back to the store to see if this lady is still scanning.

southern accents

posting this video clip is probably violating some kind of copyright, but i found it to be pretty awesome and decided you must see it immediately. i know it's totally lame that i recorded this clip on my digital camera but that was the quickest method for delivering the comedy.



lady, you're sick. and yes, i watch this show, but it's low on my priority list.

beer can technology

as andy & i were tapping the rockies aka drinking coors light this past weekend we noticed how the cans are just riddled with ridiculous features: wide mouth, vent, and color-change can. i hope you like my graphic. yeah, these cans have been out for a few years. so all that time prior to 2007 i've been screwed out of complete beer consumption efficiency!!! i feel a bit...cheated. i mean, we sent a man to the freaking moon a long ass time ago, but this kind of technology doesn't surface until now? someone explain that to me.


if you haven't seen the color-changing can, here's the deal: the mountain graphic on the front turns blue when the beer is at optimal drinking temperature. this is neat, but totally useless - i think i know what "cold" feels like. so how about this: spare me the "technology" and just charge less for your beer. that'll do.

just something to think about

a lot of song lyrics/meanings can be interpreted in a variety of ways. you think you may know what a particular songwriter intended but then you hear him/her talking about what he/she meant, and you're like ooooh that makes way more sense now. the first one i thought of is "love song" by sara bareilles. it goes, "i'm not gonna write you a love song cause you asked for it cause you need one..." so at first i took that to mean she's dating this guy and he's totally into her but she's not that into him, as in, she's not gonna write a song about it. and then i heard this song was actually about her relationship with her record label, or something. i guess the company wanted her to put out some kind of love song ballad and she wasn't having it.

now, it's no secret that i like pop music. i sing aloud to kelly clarkson's "my life would suck without you." so yes, i am a fan, as i have purchased 2 of her albums. you also may know that recently she's been packing on the pounds. not that i care, but honestly she looks not so good anymore. andy likes to make fun of her and came up with another meaning to "my life would suck....": she's not singing about a guy, or even a person. she wrote it about a piece of chocolate cake. now that you've got that in your head, go listen to the song and it totally makes sense. pretty funny, andy.

kenton & chris got my back on this one :)

i was going to type out a hypothetical scenario to replace what actually happened to me a few days ago, but it got a little convoluted. this involves my job. i usually try to avoid work-related anecdotes for obvious reasons...but this one's good.

i was leaving the office a little after 5 on monday afternoon and i got a phone call. i don't get a lot of calls so i was already thinking it was a wrong number or something. so the guy, harvey, on the other end of the phone starts telling me he's calling in regard to an ad on craigslist, and immediately i assumed he was talking about the printer or the computer i had just listed. he went on about an install disc for an ibook and i'm like hold on a minute, is something wrong with the ibook (because i sold one to some guy like 6 months ago) and then it's obvious we are talking about two separate things. he explained that his wife posted an ad about needing an install disc and someone had replied saying to contact *me* because i could get him the discs.

apparently my boss is trolling craigslist trying to create work for me because he doesn't think i have enough to do. i mean, i know that's not it, but it's just another one of those things that makes me shake my head and say "oh, michael..." you know the worst part of the whole thing is that i could have / should have just told the dude "no" and that'd be the end of it. two days later i'm still waiting on him to figure out his paypal account so he can send me money to cover postage.

smuggling alcohol on a cruise ship

andy & i are going on a cruise w/ naomi & brandon and some others in november. we'll be cruising aboard the carnival splendor which sails from los angeles and down to puerto vallarta and cabo san lucas. this will be our first cruise. i've heard a few things about carnival's on-board alcohol policy but want to hear from some experienced cruisers. carnival's official policy is that each person over 21 can have one bottle of wine/champagne. hooray. but what about the hard stuff? our cruise planner dude says you can smuggle clear alcohol inside a plastic water bottle and stash it in your big luggage. he said they don't really search your bags. but recently i talked to someone who recently got back from a carnival cruise who saw people having to dump our their water bottles that were filled with vodka. when i google the topic ("carnival cruise smuggling") i get a lot of message boards filled with all sorts of advice but none of it is conclusive. i'm not looking to smuggle an entire suitcase full of booze, but it would be nice to have a small stash of my favorite beverage. anyone have advice on the subject?

if you don't already think that i'm weird...here you go.

as my mother, grandmother, and boyfriend will tell you, i tend to get creative with my insults and terms of endearment (which, funny enough, are sometimes one in the same...maybe i should stop doing that). sometimes i use words that sound completely made-up, but to my surprise are actual words. a lot of the times i never know what these words mean (i should probably stop doing that, too). here are some examples:

cheecharone: noun, sounds like cheech-ər-own, not cheech-ər-won. do you like my schwa? boo-yah! the real word is spelled chiccharón, and means "fried pork rind." i use this word to mean a variety of things including but not limited to goofball, loser, fatso, meanie, hoodlum, and r-rated versions of everything i just mentioned. basically, it's a good, clean (?) substitute for various curse words & racial slurs. i'd like to give a shout-out to my pal daniel head for introducing me to this word, like, in 10th grade. yeah. i've been saying this word for over 10 years. is that pathetic? i don't think i say it that often: it's popularity comes & goes at random. the funniest thing is that my grandma picked it up from me during a week-long trip to europe ten years ago and still says it, primarily as a phone greeting, knowing that it's me on the line. awwww.


fluffernutter: i have no idea when i started saying this word or what prompted me to use it. it's a decent substitute for the f-word, or any other expletive. if i spilled my drink i might say "oh fluffernutter!" but on the other hand i think the connotation is nice enough so i use it as a pet name too. just this last weekend i called andy a fluffernutter and he insisted that it wasn't a word. i made him look it up, and honestly, i didn't know what it meant but i was pretty sure it was a word. educate yourself here.


well...damn. i can't think of any other examples right now. i know there are more. so take note.

p.s. - i totally just realized both of these words are food items. weird.

b-holes are tasty & flavorful

i heard this hardee's ad mentioned on the bert show this morning:



genius! i imagine they're in a bit of trouble with the fcc, but i suppose controversy could be good for business. according to a news source, "Hardees says it has no plans to pull the ads which is says run after 9 p.m., but it says franchisees are free to run them or not run them at their discretion."

the coolometer

my friend matt made this for me in calculus class in high school.


i was inspired to post this because he recently made the indie-o-meter. gotta love that metric system, still makin' the list 10 years later.

friends with benefits

so my friends and i went to hilton head this past week for vacation. if you're wondering, it ruled. so just as my buddies got to reap the benefits of my grandma's oceanfront home i also got some of my own good stuff from my friend - v.i.p. passes to a pre-screening of harry potter #6. chad's uncle works for warner bros. and chad's always getting free movie passes. chad's probably - no - *definitely* the biggest harry potter fan i know and thank goodness his uncle delivered on this one. so the best part about this pre-screening deal is that the show was at 6pm, there were no small children, the theater was only half-full, and no one was in the chair next to me. oh, and the movie was fantastic. and did i mention free shirts?!

cathy & me wearing awesome free shirts

i'm on the verge of tears as i type this

i know everyone is talking/blogging about the recent rash of celebrity deaths but i am terribly bummed that billy mays died. i feel like i should pay homage or something to this guy. i was going to make an image map sound board thing, but i'd have to steal the .wav files and the image, not to mention it'd probably take me half an hour to do it, and i'm at work...

i know a lot of people thought he was completely annoying, but i was a huge fan. the booming voice, the thick, lustrous beard, the beady little eyes, the enthusiasm for cleaning products...sigh. i guess he just put a smile on my face because he was so ridiculous. when my friends gave me some mighty putty two weeks ago i was so excited (i have yet to use the stuff).

good sounds - http://www.billymayshere.com/

a really good one - (taken down recently, sorry)

some pitchmen video - http://dsc.discovery.com/videos/pitchmen-whats-hot/

if i'm ever feeling down, andy knows he can always cheer me up with a billy mays impression.

tribute to a bad hairstyle

john & kate plus 8. they're everywhere. including here. yep, no original material this time. but i was thinking: i have zero kids and i'm kinda bitchy on occasion. so i know i'd be a total bitch all the time if i had 8 young kids and a seemingly slacker husband.

i also like to put myself in john's shoes: i'd totally check out if i had a crazy bitch screaming at me all the time. especially with that abysmal hair.

so here's what i got for you:

it's a wonder i don't weigh 300 lbs

you know, i was just thinking about how i've eaten some really good food lately. i guess that's kinda stupid to blog about, but what disturbs me more is the fact that i'm thinking about my recent meals and snacks in the way one would think about his childhood friend. leads me to believe that i like food a little too much. not that i'm getting fat and need to stop eating or anything, but sometimes people are shocked by my enthusiasm over meals. "people" being friends, family, waitstaff, and well, myself. and then i have to play it off like i'm joking or just being wacky.

i wouldn't dare withhold details about these great foods. food from bakeries, restaurants, costco, etc. some of these i just discovered for myself; others have been long-time favorites. i feel that i shouldn't be the only one enjoying these delicacies, so i am sharing the wealth:

green giant white shoepeg corn in butter sauce - this can get confusing because they sell white shoepeg corn minus the sauce, corn niblets in sauce, and some other variety of corn probably with sauce. make sure you get the exact product i named or you will be disappointed. it comes in a small box.

figo - don't get the ravioli because the serving size is meager. there's a vinings location now thank goodness. i dig the linguine w/ checca sauce, andy likes the spinach fettucine w/ siciliana. it's inexpensive. i'm getting hungry thinking about it. aww rats.

rold gold honey wheat braided pretzel twists - i discovered these today because no one in my office eats them and there were 4 bags. the ones i ate came out of a baked lays variety chip box from costco. i am assuming you can buy a bigger bag at a grocery store.

chocolate cream pie - the mother of all chocolate pies made by the good people at metrotainment bakery in atlanta. so good. i don't usually go bananas over chocolate stuff (i'm more of a pound/cheese cake eater) but even thinking about it makes me happy.

multigrain cheerios - i've never liked cheerios: plain, honey-nut, or any other variety. i tried these because i had a $1 off coupon. they were freakin' awesome.

willy's tomatillo salsa - better than moes. wanna know how many of those little salsa cups i use during a meal at willys? even i don't know, because i have started bypassing the small cups and now i just fill up a cup that's usually for water. sometimes the consistency varies and sometimes it's too oniony, but boy, when it's good - which is more often than not - i pretty much just drink the stuff.

soup garden restaurant - in the strip mall with bedbathbeyond on cobb pkwy @ akers mill. oh my, where to start with this one? everything here is good. andy's ecstatic because they finally have eggs with the shell removed. they have pickled okra, which is definitely the best thing on the salad bar (jason's deli recently took it off their salad bar, those bastards). i can make a meal outta those bad boys. and there's mama rosa chicken soup. tuna pasta salad. freakin' ginger bread!! for best results go at lunch time, just before noon. if you stick with water for your beverage i think the price is reasonable.

pocky - japanese. thin bread stick coated with chocolate or other flavors. tastes like cookies, but better. i like strawberry. can be bought at world market. katie smith introduced me to these back in the mid 1990s. her dad brought some back from japan and we went nuts. i kinda forgot about them until i saw some maybe 8 years ago. it's impossible for me to go into a world market store and not buy pocky.

fellini's house salad dressing - i guess you'd call it a creamy italian. has to be unhealthy. tastes amazing. sometimes i'll go in there and just get a cup of dressing. the people that work there never know what to charge me so i just give them a dollar (unless bobby is working, he'll give it to me for free). andy likes it so much he drinks it. ask him about that sometime.

archer farms fruit strips - naomi included one of these in my birthday card. i was like, what the hell is this? but then i ate it, and now i understand. they can be found at target.

i could go on.

happy digital transition day

There's a tv in the breakroom at my office. We don't get cable, the antenna kinda sucks, and no one ever watches it. A few weeks ago it occurred to me that I could get one of those converter boxes and possibly get a bunch of channels. I got in on that $40 government coupon, bought a converter box, hooked it all up, and like magic we have about 10 channels now. So today during my lunch hour I decided to enjoy some good quality digital tv. I turned to the ch. 2 news and they had this dude on there who was the very first engineer for the station, as in, he was in charge of their very first broadcast. Pretty old guy. They brought him into the studio today so he could be the one hitting the switch to turn off the analog signal. How cool is that?! But the guy in the tux? So awesome. Apparently I missed the actual "switch" but thanks to youtuber JohnAMcGrew you can see it yourselves!

on this day in 1982

anne's birthday. also known as:

• international anne day - courtesy of blake hennon

• national anne day of sweetness (or NADS) - from matt weeks

as of right now i have gotten 24 birthday wall posts on facebook. the mix of people who wish me a happy birthday is a little weird. some of these people probably couldn't even pinpoint the month of my birthday, but whatever, i appreciate the sentiment. i do.

the collection of people who posted on my wall includes 3 distinct sub-groups:

1. people i know really well: boyfriend, mother, aunt, cousin. these people no doubt felt obligated to post, even though they sent me a card and/or called me, or even saw me that day. so, that's fine.

2. people who i'd definitely consider my friends, but with whom i don't communicate regularly: these people probably saw that a mutual friend (most likely in this same group) sent me a message and they wanted to do the same. unlike members of group 1, these people did not post out of obligation. i'd like to think that people in this group genuinely wanted to wish me a happy birthday. that's pretty awesome.

3. a few random outliers: some creepy guy i met at a party, someone i wasn't really ever friends with in high school but for some reason is my "friend," my boyfriend's coworker, etc.

as for the people that didn't wish me a happy birthday on facebook: you guys are probably the coolest, because you're not addicted to facebook.

dvr is my bff

a bunch of people who know me have been wondering what i'm gonna watch now that a lot of my favorite reality series have wrapped. actually, they probably weren't wondering so much as bringing to my attention the fact that the "good" reality shows are over. smug bastards can suck it, because i've found a ton of crap to watch:

• so you think you can dance - i think i've said this before, maybe even on this very blog, but i like this show more than idol. reason: i can sing. pretty well, actually, so i don't go completely ape shit over talented vocalists. dancing is a different story. me not so good, so i really like watching it. the contestants on this show are freaks of nature, in a good way.

• the bachelorette - i can't *not* watch this show. this season's girl, jillian, is a cast-off from the previous season of the bachelor. she's petite, tan, successful...surprise.
  

• the fashion show - project runway's replacement. instead of "you're out," it's "we're just not buying it." hilarious. i miss tim gunn.

• real housewives of new jersey - italian. botox. bubbies. not sure about that last one? check it out on hulu

• john & kate + 8 - i've been aware of this show for quite some time since i watch a bunch of stuff on tlc, but i never tuned in because i don't really like watching shows about parents with babies. i probably caught 5 minutes here and there, most of it was kate barking at john, being a total bitch. no wonder this guy went elsewhere looking for affection. anyway, after all the drama surrounding john & kate's relationship, i *had* to watch. i love train wrecks.
  

• paris hilton's my new bff - so i wonder what happened to her old bff, brittany? new season starts june 2 (andy, please don't dump me for watching this).

• hitched or ditched - new show on the cw. this is on the dvr. haven't watched yet.

CS 2130: languages & translation

it's been four years since i graduated from tech. which means it's almost been long enough for me to forget the bullshit i had to put up with. almost, but not quite. tonite i was digging through some old saved aol im conversations and was quickly reminded of said bullshit:

---------------------------------------------------------
GTSkyFlyer: Anne if you calculated your average right now what would it be?
Lenina Crowne: ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm not good. like 30?
GTSkyFlyer: without the projects then? which you did well on prj1
Lenina Crowne: no not that low. actually the damned thing didnt splint totally and the hashtable was off
Lenina Crowne: i got some stupid pslint errors'
GTSkyFlyer: but they've been fixed since then?
Lenina Crowne: well not the splint errors, i actually forgot about those until i just mentioned them
Lenina Crowne: somethign about not checking return values of ungetc and fclose?
GTSkyFlyer: ok those are easy to fix.
GTSkyFlyer: anyways with the final and the prjects grades
Lenina Crowne: i am kinda nervous, i totally deserve to pass
GTSkyFlyer: that will put you over the 40 % mark
GTSkyFlyer: and honestly a 40 is all you will need to get a C
Lenina Crowne: mmmm C
--------------------------------------

btw i did pass that class. i got a C. that was after getting an F the semester before. good times. what the hell is splint? ungetc? fclose? hooray for knowledge!

just a regular day at the office

today our office building management company put on a tenant appreciation luau. it was ridiculous. you should have seen all the *real* professionals who work in the building - they came down for the food and immediately went back up to their offices. these kind of things are always really weird but this was pretty good. good job 5th street management.

the dancers drew a large crowd

i sucked pretty bad at this.

was even worse at hula hoop contest

(the guy back there on the robo-wave stayed on for like 5 minutes, it was insane)

mother's day fail

this past weekend i went to dalton to spend the weekend with mary ellen since sunday was, duh, mother's day. i'm not a huge fan of giving people tangible gifts so i thought it would be nice to clean out her car & have it detailed. as in, major interior de-scumming. sounds easy enough, but i wanted to do this on the sly so it'd be a huge surprise. fortunately she was busy with dance recitals all day on saturday so i knew i'd have access to the car. i rolled into dalton around 4:00, found her spare key, dug through her email and found out where the recital was (the wink theater) and when it started (4:00). i figured the thing would last about an hour and a half, which would give me plenty of time to get it cleaned & have it back in the lot. i knew that bad things could happen if i didn't make it back before the show ended, but that was a risk i was willing to take. because who wouldn't *love* the inside of their car being spotless?! if i didn't make it back in time, i was praying she'd check her voice mail before noticing her car was missing, as i left her a message saying that i was driving her car. hoping she'd check the voice mail and not go into a panic thinking someone jacked her car. oh, and really, really hoping that she wouldn't call the cops.

i could make this a really long narrative about how almost everything that could go wrong actually went wrong, but i won't. i'll just list the highlights, and hopefully you'll get the idea.

• found her car, parked mine across street. ran across street, drove her car & parked next to mine. drove my car with the intent to park in her empty space (i even had a giant note on the dash that said "mary ellen: i have your car. call me!") but somebody scored it first. parking my car in that same spot was probably the most crucial part of the plan, and since i couldn't pull that off, i probably should have abandoned plan right then.
  
• no way would anyone be able to clean inside her car unless i took everything out first. so i frantically removed every blasted thing out of that car & put it in my trunk. took way too long. i was cursing & working up quite a sweat. people started to notice. they probably thought i was stealing her... oh wait, i *was* stealing.
  
• started cruising around for a car detailing place. in atlanta there are two on every corner. in dalton, not so much. and it was saturday. apparently these types of businesses aren't open on saturday, or if they are, they close before 4:00. again, probably should have bailed out and returned the car at this point.
• noticed my cell phone battery very low.
  
• after driving around for much too long i stopped at a car audio place to ask if they knew of a detail shop that would be open. a most helpful girl told me "julians" downtown. oh good, i'm not screwed, and fortunately it's down the street from the theater.
  
• julian's was closed. at this point i tried to return the car. *tried.* but the streets were blocked off for some hot rod parade thing.
  
• starting to panic because cell phone battery dangerously low.
  
• drove her car back to her house. planned to get down and dirty and clean it myself. couldn't find an extension cord for the vacuum. grabbed some clean-up wipe things and went to the self-service car care place.
  
• whilst vacuuming mats, it started raining. now i was wet, on top of being dirty, smelly, and extremely frustrated.
• thankfully my cell phone still on. but oops, i missed a call from mary ellen. couldn't hear it ring over the vacuum.
  
• called her back. "yes i have your car, no i haven't been kidnapped. see you at home."

the good news is that she was laughing at me when i got home rather than being totally pissed. i can't decide if the worst part was that i had to spoil the surprise or that i had to admit that my plan was completely bush league.

fore....goo?

obviously i'm a not a huge fan of capitalization or punctuation, but i try to make an effort with vocabularly and grammar. well, most of the time. check out this amazing scene from last week's episode of "the celebrity apprentice" - from left we have brande roderick who is a former playboy model, poker champion annie duke, and melissa rivers. i know you will laugh at this.



i bet this'll end up on E!'s "the soup." along with something from every other show i watch.

continuing the morbid posts...

i'll go ahead and tell you that if i drop dead today or die in the next 48 hours, a certain barista at starbucks is to blame. location on cobb pkwy next to steak 'n shake, just outside 285. tall white guy with a beard/goatee. if only i had gotten his name.... not that i'm expecting to keel over any time soon, but if i do, at least there will be some kind of explanation. also, this post ties in to my friend matt's post about death. if you have a spare minute, and i know you do, read it here.

moving on. here's the story:

before you judge me, i just want to say that i *never* go to starbucks. for many reasons, number one being i'm poor. i'll supplement this with the fact that i don't like to indulge in stuff that a)makes me fat b)leaves a weird taste in my mouth c)makes me cranky at the end of the day d)is overpriced. granted, i'll buy a bag of candy and eat the whole thing in one sitting, an activity that fulfills a,b, and c, but candy doesn't usually doesn't run me over $2, and thank goodness i can afford that. but all bets are off if someone gives me this stuff free of charge. then i just go nuts. absolutely buck wild. so today i went nuts because i had a $5 gift card and found myself very near starbucks with a few minutes to spare. how i acquired this gift card deserves it's own post, so i'll get around to that. but right now i should probably get to the point about dying.

i pulled up to the drive thru and announced that i wasn't sure what i wanted. mentioned something along the lines of a chai latte, something non-fat. sensing my unfamiliarity with the menu through the speaker, the guy was like, hey, do you like mocha? i said sure. then he said he'd been on this kick where he put a few pumps of mocha into his chai and that i should try it. i was like ok, bring it, i'm up for an adventure. in hindsight, probably shouldn't have said "i'm up for an adventure," as it's rather vague and can invite all sorts of trouble. anyway i got to the window, grabbed my concoction but told him he better not be trying to poison me. i wasn't even joking but kinda played it like i was. he was cool about it, and the drink tasted pretty good. like an oatmeal cookie with some chocolate chips. but that was at first. i'm actually sitting here right now sipping the very same drink and it tastes really weird. i'm still getting the oatmeal cookie taste, but now i'm getting a very weird aftertaste. like...arsenic? yak anus surprise? yeesh. think i'll go eat lunch.

my stuffed animals are suicidal

so i'm gone for one night during the week and my stuffed animals decide that life just isn't worth living:

english got himself wrapped up in the blinds

buzz goes for the coat hanger

so all of this was waiting for me when i came back from andy's early this morning. i let my bro & his buddy stay at my place b/c they wanted to be a little closer to augusta so they wouldn't have to get up as early to travel to the masters. i crashed at andy's. i was relieved that this was not a double suicide attempt, however i'm a bit disturbed by john's murderous intentions.

i would totally lay a beat down for this guy

some of my coworkers and I were talking about companies that do things a little differently from their competitors, and how taking certain risks led to extreme success. most people down here immediately think of chickfila. not only does this company treat their employees very well, the food is effin' delicious too. and then someone mentioned southwest airlines. i don't know much about southwest and their story, but apparently they really value their employees, and the employees in turn enjoy working for them. check this guy out:



yeah, so it's obviously not freestyle, but i'm feelin' it.

i have an overwhelming desire to pick up other people's trash

i was thinking that since andy & i might not be playing in the hockey league this summer, we should do some volunteer work. it's been a while since i did anything like that, the last experience being summer 2005 when i did some work for tech corps georgia. basically i scrapped old computer systems and fixed/rebuilt ones that were worth salvaging. the organization would then donate the machines or sell them at a reduced cost to schools and small businesses that needed them. not only was it a good learning experience and something good for my resume, but it was pretty fun. i like computers, i like recycling things, and you're damn sure i like working in a warehouse with no air conditioning in august. near turner field. just playing. anyway, volunteering is a completely free activity, unlike playing hockey (although i did have to drive a few miles to get there, but whatever, gas was like 18 cents a gallon). it also kept me occupied so i wouldn't troll through the mall buying stuff i didn't need. and just because i have them, here are some photos:

cases ready for recycling

old floppy drives

warehouse full of other people's "techno trash"

turning trash into money

in the past few years andy and i have gone on many hikes/walks through the chattahoochee nature preserve and we're always saddened and disappointed by how much trash has collected on the riverbanks. most of it's plastic bottles and aluminum cans. it's really pathetic. a lot of things make me mad, but i'd have to say that littering beats out "not knowing how to use google to answer your questions" and "spending money on stupid shit." i keep telling myself i'll go enjoy a leisurely stroll and pick a bunch of it up one day but that idea usually loses to watching america's next top model. but perhaps if i sign up for something official and make a committment then i'll actually do it. as gary the no-trash cougar says, 'give a larbage, throw out your garbage.'

not everyone thinks i'm a bitch

andy & i went to bainbridge, ga last weekend to attend this huge surprise birthday party for one of the town's elite business owners, vic pemberton. mr. p has a vending and catering business and andy used to work for him while he was in high school. andy's parents are friends with vic & his wife. anyway, the party was awesome. i actually bought a dress for the event. i rarely do that. i was gonna wear what was already in my closet but these days i'm starting to exhaust my options, and those options are looking kinda crappy. anyway, i was excited to have scored this particular dress and bragged to my mom that i got a rad dress at tjmaxx (as if i'd shop anywhere else), and that i'd get someone at the party to take my photo so she could see. here it is:

andy & me gettin' our drink on in bainbridge

anyone see a problem with this photo? you can't see the whole dress. and you can't see my shoes, which were totally cute thank you very much. i was very careful on who i grabbed to take this, as in, i didn't pick someone who was 50+ years old. perhaps i expect too much of the bainbridge crowd. sorry. i might add that this was the 2nd of two photos: the first was taken horizontally. when she wanted to take another, i advised her to hold the camera vertically to get a full body shot. then she handed the camera back to me and said "here make sure these are good." and so i wouldn't make myself out to be a total a-hole, i was like "oh they're fine," and i didn't even check them. i totally should have checked.

someone tied balloons to andy's pants

so the party was great and there were tons of people there. the rest of the weekend we ate the remainder of the finger foods (i call them that since i can't spell hors d'oveurs? eh? that doesn't look right...) at the pemberton's house and hung out with andy's friends josh & lane. i've been hearing about these guys for 3+ years so i kinda felt like i knew them already, but it was good to finally meet them both. josh is possibly the nicest person i've ever met. lane is very entertaining and perhaps a little psycho. i mean that in the nicest way possible. check this out - he was on wheel of fortune last fall and completely dominated, won like $45k or something ridiculous.

daniel, lane, andy, & josh. ugh i really need to clean my camera lens.

so, one thing that made me feel good is that everyone seemed to like me. granted, i behaved myself, didn't break anything, and kept the cursing to a minimum. andy kept telling me how much everyone liked me, which wasn't really that shocking, because i am pretty cool. although i i'm sure a select few think i'm crazy and overbearing since i begged andy not to eat a burger king cheeseburger at 1am that was apparently calling his name. but it's always nice to hear that people don't think you're a total bitch.

ps - more pics from bainbridge here

happy 311 to you

it's march 11 - 3/11 - and one of my fave bands, 311 (that's "three eleven") , has a new album coming out in...june? yep, june 2nd. i'm looking forward to this because i need something new and awesome to jam to, and it has been a while since the last album (which i didn't buy). if you are a 311 fan, good for you. if you can't stand them, that's ok. if you're not familiar w/ their stuff, you should be. go listen to their greatest hits album. that disc has spent a lot of time in my cd player. actually, i think it's in there right now. anyway...woah. i just looked at when the 311 self-titled album came out. that's the one with "down" and "all mixed up." dude. 1995? has it been that long? i remember listening to that in jo beth's garage while i helped her and tessa paint run-thrus for the football team. shit, i feel old. and i'm totally not.

anyway, today i was doing some paperwork and listening to project 9-6-1 as usual. i am so tired of hearing "bad girlfriend" and "crazy train." anyway, aly had nick from 311 on the phone in honor of 3/11. he was talking about the new album and saying they're doing a show in atlanta on july 4th. last summer they were on tour with snoop dogg or something. yeah, i steered clear of that one. don't think i could handle the d-o-double-g. but i was thinking, would i even want to see 311 now? if i could go back in time and see them as they were in 1999, as my adult self now, that would be cool. i'm afraid if i go to their show in a few months i'll be disappointed. and i know what that feels like - i saw weezer a few years ago up at gwinnett arena, and they were not good. i was totally looking forward to the show because their blue album is definitely one of my favorites ever, and because i'd never seen them live. they blew. it was a total let-down.

my brother would have made a better "the bachelor"

omg did you see the bachelor last night?! total craziness!! you must watch the aftershow. if you haven't seen any of it, don't worry, the following post won't spoil anything important.

i had a lot of problems with this season.

1. deanna. girl, next time, when trying to convince an ex that he should get back together with you, never show up wearing the frumptastic getup that you sported with jason. it didn't do you any favors. if anything, it made us notice the weight you gained after your season was filmed, aka after jesse dumped your ass. sheesh. and to think that i used to like you (refer to post from 06.05.08).


2. where were the "women of color" in the top 25 or whatever? yeah, raquel was from brazil and had somewhat of an exotic look about her (as well as a jacked up grill), so i guess she's the token minority. anyone who looks "ethnic" in the photo just has a fake tan. actually, wait. i think the girl in the orange dress is asian. i recall her name as julie, or something equally non-asian. i remember cheering for her on looks alone, but then she turned out to be really weird. nevermind.

3. jason is pathetic: while lying on the bed with melissa jason uttered the words "what are you thinking?" video coming soon. i tell you right now, if andy said that to me in a moment of intimacy i think i'd flip my shit. those words belong to women.

4. jillian. where did they find this girl (don't say "canada," because that's not what i mean). i really really wanted to like her. but i couldn't. i'm probably one of the few who didn't enjoy her kind of crazy. she blew it for me with her hot dog theory. not only was her "theory" totally unfunny, but the way she pronounced the words "hot" and "dog" made me squirm. and you know, sometimes i like the quirky girls (if you could call her that). but usually the quirky girls don't talk so damn much.

5. what happened to the initial whittling down of the women show? many seasons ago they'd show you a bunch of strange (but still hot) girls that got through the initial screening rounds, american-idol style. each girl would get a few minutes alone with the bachelor and then the bachelor would narrow it down to the 25 or so girls he wanted in the house. what happened to that? now the first thing we see are the top 25 bachelorettes all glammed up beyond recognition, stepping out of limo to meet the bachelor for the first time. all of the awkwardness and none of the hilarity. i need to see the stupid human tricks!!

p.s. - i often refer to my addiction to reality tv as a guilty pleasure. andy hates this, and states that it's definitely not a *guilty* one, as i feel no guilt while/after watching.

stuff that made me laugh recently

teaser for the final episode of the bachelor:

"what you're about to witness is potentially so dramatic..." gimme a break.
and while we're on the subject: i'm an extremely loyal fan of the bachelor/bachelorette series, but this season has been awful. while jason may be a lot of women's ideal guy, i think he sucks. he's a single dad, he's short, cheesy, and way too in touch with his emotions. he probably wouldn't like me either. heh.

in my mom's pantry:

don't mess with mary ellen or she'll kick your ass, jackie chan style.

from the wrapper on the toilet paper i just purchased:
"Made just right with an extra layer to get the job done."

some photos

here are some of my favorite pictures from vacation (excluding the two snowflake photos from my earlier post):

some shredding at the canyons

hooray beer

funny story about this: according to the trail map there is a black diamond "easiest way down" route at this particular peak. i refused to believe the sign at the loading point that said - along with the cute drawings of skulls/crossbones - "beware, experts only. there is no easy way down." i was like, whatever, let's do it. as you can see, i was mistaken. it was kinda funny at first, you know, all of the falling and tumbling and rolling, but then it just started to hurt.

watch out for avalanches at solitude

i can almost hear dan yelling "scorpion!!!" at jeremy. jeremy was a very good sport about it.

here is my dearest andy after about 30 minutes of struggling through some intense powder at snowbird

the boys really were napping during lunch

awesome snowboard evolution/history display at brighton.

english muffin

i recycle while i'm on vacation. luckily salt lake had many facilities and even a recycling information hotline!

i'm still on vacation

for those of you who have only seen snow in the southeast and think that flakes look like giant blobs of ice, here is what i'm dealing with out here in utah:

awesome flakes on my glove

lovely!!!

so i'm sitting in the condo right now blogging because the hot tub is no worky. apparently some technician guy came a few hours ago, drained the thing, then filled it back up. and now the water is at 50 degrees. i dunno who owns this joint, but they should have scheduled that for *tomorrow* when we're all on our way outta here. anyway, i've seen a crazy amount of snow in the past few days. i'm a little bummed we didn't get any sunny days - it snowed every day we were out - but the skiing has been delicious. yesterday we were at snowbird after they got like 20 inches of snow. it was nuts. snow up to your waist. i'll post pics soon.