more awesome/awful ads

my friend melanie forwarded this to me in an email. she saw it on a poster at her daughter's elementary school (brookwood school in dalton) and couldn't resist taking a photo:

whoever designed this either is getting high-fives, or got fired. i mean really, it doesn't take a pervert to see that what we have here is a penis in a hat.

and this ad was in people magazine.  what the...? first of all, people magazine usually has very high-quality ads.  this one is just... bad. so bad, in fact, that i actually stopped flipping pages to look at it. so i guess in that respect it's effective?  *sigh.* their website really isn't much better.  i really didn't want to look at it, but my curiosity got the best of me... good job, crappy company.  but i assure you, my awareness won't result in a sale.

andy, mary ellen, & i showed up late for chad & cathy's super bowl party and got iced.  yes, i know that my buddies & i missed the "bros icing bros" bit by about 2 years...so it lives on, and it's still just as hilarious as it was years ago. and you know, i don't mind getting iced because i actually like the taste of those things, it's the chugging i have a problem with. mary ellen took hers like a champ, and i think the only reason my friends decided to ice her along with andy & myself is because she iced me on Christmas day.  payback's a bitch.  a very bubbly and frosty bitch.

chad gets an "a+" for presentation.  

legend of the famous chron

a bit of background:  my name is anne rouse gurley.  rouse was my great-grandmother's maiden name. as a kid i hated it, but it's not so bad anymore - people have so many more things to make fun of me for now than just my middle name.  anyway, a while ago my brother took to calling me "grouse," or any variety of grouse depending on my mood or the time of year, ie. "spruce grouse" during the holidays. one day in mid-october i was in a silly mood so i posted a link to wikipedia's spruce grouse entry on john's facebook wall. a few clicks later i ended up at the famous grouse website. after poking around a bit i discovered that you could customize/personalize your own label for a bottle of famous grouse.  oooh, sign me up. again, it was mid-october so i figured this would be the perfect Christmas gift. unfortunately the company was unable to ship to countries outside the UK, but i figured i'd ask them anyway to see if they'd make an exception:

and the reply

i don't know anyone living in the UK, so it looks like a trip to scotland is on the horizon.  but wait, i know someone who *probably* knows someone living in the UK. my buddy daniel travels extensively and has friends in every corner of the globe, so if anyone had friends in the UK it was him. i asked him about it, and he hooked me up with his friend kathlene, who told me she would be travelling to the US for the Christmas holidays. i told her the story and gave her the game plan. by the time i worked out these logistics and purchased the whisky it was early november.  clearly ahead of schedule. so after the whisky arrived to her in london, i told her how to complete a fedex slip with my account number so that she could simply drop the package off when she got to the US.  still ahead of schedule. unfortunately kathlene's travel plans got messed up due to the ginormous european blizzard that hit right around Christmas, and i failed to remember to give her adequate instructions for shipping alcohol. fail. thanks to her dedication the package arrived in nashville on january 5th.

at last i present to you, in all its splendor - the famous chron:

There once was a Chronathan G. 

who enjoyed his fair share of whisky.

He was known far and wide

for his knack to imbibe,

and this bottle right here - 

it's on me!