1.31.2013

this blog is dead

dudes. this blog is a pain in my ass, so i'm ditching it. if you have enjoyed reading my cynical ramblings & hilarious anecdotes, please add me as a friend on facebook to get your fill. it'll be good times, i promise.

bye.


9.12.2012

Quality iPad app Ads

I play a lot of Zynga games on my iPad - you know, Words/Hanging/Scramble with Friends. I don't pay for these games, so I get the ads in between plays. It's only a mild annoyance. Most of the ads look something like the one below:



This one, however, got my attention. Perhaps you've seen it too:

Quality free-hand Paint skills

You betcha I tapped the ad to get more info. The App Store brought up a game called Tap Paradise Cove by Pocket Gems. It didn't have a terrible landing page and looked, well, not as bad as the advertisement. I sent the good folks at Pocket Gems an email with the screen shot asking "what's the deal with this ad?" and received the following response: 

Thank you for the information, I am not certain as to that being one of our ads. Although, if you are playing Tap Paradise Cove I do hope you have fun!


Meh. I was really hoping to get a quippy reply. But wait, there's more! Just the other day this ad came into rotation:

I swear I made something like this in 1992. Totally retro!





8.02.2012

I don't want to get too serious or political but since we're currently in the midst of a chickfila media circus....

My friend (gay man) posted something to facebook which included Dan Cathy's quote "We don't claim to be a Christian business, but as an organization we operate on Biblical principals."

There was another component to his post, but I won't get into that. It incited a lengthy debate as you can imagine. Serious opinions all around, thankfully most of them respectful. Bible scripture was hurled this way and that (I'm a Christian and am annoyed when people do that, regardless of the topic being discussed). I was exhausted after reading all 77 comments.

 I do want to point out a particularly amusing comment:
  • Um, I don't claim to be gay, but as a person, I operate on homosexual principles. Utter nonsense. Dear Chick-Fil-A: You are a chicken joint, not a church. Put your bible down and get back to the fryer. 
And after much scripture-tossing, this was said:
  • ...we can all quote Scripture to our advantage, to bolster our own interpretation. Scripture is to guide us, not to provide us with ammunition with which to wound others. The only weapon we have is love, not judgment. So it would be better to throw love at one another than condemning Scripture passages. Plus it's a lot of fun.

Now I must post this video because it's freaking hilarious...


oh and then this, because I love Jon Stewart:

7.17.2012

Happy Denver-versary to Me (oh, and I updated the look of this blog)

Duuuuuuude!  I can't believe it's been a year since I moved from Atlanta to Denver. That is kind of a big deal for me, as most of my family members & close friends live in Georgia. It's been good times, but I still find random things to bitch about. Below are some awesome/not awesome things about my new locale:

    Awesome
  • 2 ice rinks within 7 miles of my apt.
  • Blue state
  • My hair dries really fast
  • I can ride my bike to work
  • People are fit
  • View of the mountains
  • Beer
  • I don't get dirty looks when I provide my own bags at the store.
  • You can watch Sun/Mon night football and be in bed by 10pm.
  • Peyton Manning (+ Bebe Thomas)
    Not Awesome
  • I don't know anyone with a boat
  • I can't find a good cheap Mexican restaurant near my apartment
  • I live in an apartment
  • People are *really* fit
  • Reality tv shows are frequently spoiled by east-coasters who feel like they must comment on the outcomes/results on facebook (and no, it is *not* my fault for checking facebook).
  • Shane Company radio ads. Yep, they're out here too.

I'd like to touch on the "I live in an apartment" point:

I actually don't mind apartment-living. I enjoy the amenities and appreciate the conveniences, and I'm not generally bothered by other people living near me; I mean, it's all I've known for the past 13 years. I'm also accustomed to the annoyances that go with multi-family housing: the occasional rowdy party, stray dog poop in the grass, other residents disregarding the pool rules, people tailing me in the security gate, etc. But I draw the line at feces in the hallway:






I bet you're wondering if I wrote those notes. Of course I did! (And feel free to submit this to passiveaggressivenotes.com)

And let me tell you about the time the people in the apartment two floors below almost burned the place down: We had our balcony door open one evening and noticed a faint beeping noise and the slight but unmistakable odor of burning plastic. There was a guy in the courtyard looking up our way and he shouted to us that he thought there was a fire on the 3rd floor, and sure enough, we could see flickering shadows on the brick wall outside the window. We ran down to 3, knocked on the door just to make sure no one was home, then joined the guy in the courtyard, who by that time had already called the fire department. I noticed that the balcony door was barely open - smoke not yet visible - so this other guy climbed up the railings and pushed his way inside (not the best idea, but I assume he could see that the fire wasn't out of control). He unlocked the door from the inside and let Andy in with the fire extinguisher and they put it out. Crisis averted. About a minute later two fire trucks arrived.

Oh, and perhaps you heard about the loser that backed into my car last month (while it was parked overnight) and busted my tail light and then fled the scene? Thanks, asshole. Fortunately the damage to my car is minimal, but I'm still furious that somebody is guilty of a crime and got away with it.  Anyway, I had the police come out and write a report.

Notice the parking space number. No, I didn't park like that. No, that is not my real tag number.

Most of the tail light fragments I found scattered about didn't belong to my vehicle, so I pieced them all back together and can say with a very high degree of certainty that the perp drives a newer model Toyota Corolla (unless the person hit more than one car, but that's highly improbable given the scene I encountered at 7:45am). That evening I walked through the parking deck three times: 6:30pm, 10pm, and 3am. Yep, 3 in the morning. I am that crazy. I walked around for half an hour looking totally suspicious with my clipboard and pen and made a note of every Corolla in the deck. I patrolled the place on my bike twice a day for a solid week but never saw any cars with a busted tail light. I was so obsessed that I even cruised the parking lots of the neighboring apartment complexes and office buildings. I sent my list of tag numbers to the property manager so he could cross-reference the master list and he replied that my list covered every Corolla registered (oh hell yes it did, you know I didn't get up at 3am for nothing). So that pretty much confirmed that the guilty party is not a resident. But I still ride up and down the parking deck on my bike, you know, just to be thorough.

And then last week there was a fire in a service van inside the parking garage which set off the sprinkler system and damaged part of the building. My bike was standing in about an inch of water in the stairwell.

And speaking of bikes - someone's been trying to steal Andy's Cannondale. He just purchased it from his boss. We parked it next to his old mountain bike (near mine, also old, in one of the stairwells) and we noticed that the plastic sheath part of the cable lock had been cut, like someone had taken a hack saw to it. Curious. We went for a short ride then locked both bikes to the rack using both locks. The next day the other lock had been cut down to the metal cable as well. So we moved the bikes and although I haven't checked on them today, they were still there yesterday.

Last but not least, a few weeks ago, some idiots took glass bottles into the pool area and *shocker,* the bottles broke, and the pool had to be drained and cleaned. It was closed for a week during a ridiculous heat-wave right before the 4th of July. I'm pretty sure these people know that glass is prohibited and they just don't give a shit. Seriously, have you never lived in an apartment before? On a similar note, some woman actually put her dog in the pool. Not next to the pool, but in the frickin' water. Hey lady, wanna know why there aren't any other dogs around? Because it's against the law to have pets in the pool area. Management is actually issuing fines now, and the best part is that they encourage other residents to take photos of people breaking the rules. Guess who has a new hobby?



5.15.2012

Last post I told you about my new venture - biking. I've been biking to work almost every day for two weeks. It's going great. Here I am in all my eco-friendly, sweaty, reflective glory:


It's an easy 3.5 mile ride to my office. On average it usually takes me 16 minutes in the morning...and about 25 to ride home since it's a very gradual uphill ride. I shall have massive quads in no time. 

Now, check out the randomness that I experienced yesterday at work. I bet you've never had a giant salt shaker dance a jig in your office!

Yet another reason why I love my job. 


A few more things:
  • A new season of the Bachelorette is back, featuring Emily Maynard. I don't like her very much, but must...watch...anyway. If you want to know what Emily's like, think about me, and then imagine the opposite. I'm only an hour into the first episode and *surpriiiiize* it's another snooze-fest. Can't wait to read Lincee's recap blog at http://www.ihategreenbeans.com/category/recaps/
  • Did I mention cake vodka yet? I feel like I have talked about this before. No? Anyway, if you mix cake flavored vodka with limeade, the result tastes like key lime pie. The only "cake" flavor I can find is made by Three Olives and it's pretty freakin' delicious. I prefer the frozen Minute Maid limeade over Simply Limeade, and I cut it with water because it's really sweet. I've tried using vanilla flavored vodka and whipped cream flavored vodka instead of cake flavor, but both were terrible substitutes. Smirnoff makes a marshmallow flavor that might work with the limeade, but I haven't tried it yet. Honestly, I'm about to wear this drink out so I'll just stick with the cake.
  • Visiting family in Georgia next week. Unfortunately most of my friends that live in Atlanta will be away on vacation. I'm glad I'll get to spend some time with my mom, but I'm definitely most excited about eating at Fellini's in Atlanta. Ahhhh, that pizza is the stuff of my dreams. I may also have to go to Bojangles while in Dalton. Mmm. I can already feel my arteries hardening.

4.25.2012

This post might make you feel lazy (by comparison)


Ice Holes, south suburban D3 south champs: best of the worst. 

Can you spot me in this photo? I'll give you a hint: I'm not the goalie. 

Since ski & snowboard season is officially over (for me, at least) I shall share some info with you, courtesy of epicmix.com.
  • Days on mountain: 14 (fyi, that brings my price to $35.70 per day)
  • Vertical feet: 195,562
  • total lift rides: 130
  • photos taken: 88
  • pins: 63
  • points: 8,136

For the first half of the season I wasn't too concerned with collecting digital achievement pins or points, but sometime in February we discovered that we could make a game of it, almost like a scavenger hunt. Each night before skiing we'd cruise the epic mix website and plan our runs/route for the next day in order to rack up the maximum number of pins. I was totally consumed with it to the point of being ridiculous. I kept telling myself I would go for the "day tripper" pin, which you get for visiting all 4 Colorado Vail resorts in one day. So that's what I did on one of my days off back in March (Andy had to work). Here's the proof:

9:10am - First ever trip to the Beav.


11:40am - 2 lifts to the top of Vail, photo, then down one looong run.


1:35pm - 2 laps on Peak 7 at Breck. Excellent spring conditions. I arrived there later than intended due to a snafu with parking. 

3:20pm - The epic mix photographers had already packed up by the time I got to the top, so I had to get some random dude to take this. Disappointing.


Anyway, I got the stupid achievement pin and it was totally worth it. I was afraid that riding solo was going to be boring (been there & done that, back in '06/'07 while working in aspen), but I rather enjoyed myself.

On a completely different note, I just took drastic measures in my attempt to assimilate to colorado culture. No, I didn't get my medical marijuana license. Yes, I am still shaving my legs. I bought... a bike. The scary part? It's for commuting to and from work and the gym. This might sound extreme to those of you who know that I haven't been on a bike in 15 years, but it's less than 4 miles to my office and most of the route has a designated bike lane. The weather has been just splendid in the morning, and it just seems stupid NOT to be biking. Changing clothes will be annoying, but I think that the benefits will outweigh the inconveniences. Once my helmet arrives I will be ready to ride. I'll let you all know how it goes.

3.22.2012

say what?

I still listen to Atlanta's radio show "The Bert Show" every morning on my iPad. Here's a spot for Moe's Southwest Grill that's currently in rotation. Listen closely to the end of the ad.

Fresh hit, eh? Say that one a few times fast. 

Ok, now moving on to the awesomeness. One of my favorite songs is Chris Brown's "Look at Me Now." My friend Thom shared this youTube video with me the other day:

Mary Ellen, I expect you to be amused by this. I bet you're disappointed that I didn't come up with it first. 

3.08.2012

Before I get to the good stuff, I would just like to point out that Andy & I have been living in Denver now for 8 months exactly. It feels like home, I suppose, although I'm desperately trying to form friendships with other young couples and it's slow going. We keep trying to get together with our neighbors since they seem normal (obviously they aren't the ones responsible for this or this), but I get the sneaking suspicion they aren't too motivated to hang out with us. Thank goodness I like Andy so much.

And although it's not technically spring yet, I think I can say that we have survived our first Colorado winter. I'm still hoping for another big snowstorm. It was about 70 degrees here last week, which was a nice spring teaser...and then the following day it snowed. Wild.

Ok, so Andy works as a technology/security consultant and does a lot of work with hospitals. He asked his coworker to draw up a barcode scanner for one of the labs. Here's what was sent:


Just a standard hand scanner. Or is it...?









I can't take credit for this - Andy's the one who flipped the image, added the question marks, and sent it back to the guy who drew it up. Looks a lot like the chair we saw at costco several years ago. Forget William Tapley, I think I know who the real third eagle of the apocalypse is.



2.03.2012

Progressive's "Flo" sucks, but Snapshot is cool

I just signed up for Progressive's "snapshot" program in hopes that I will get a discount on my car insurance. They mail you a little device and you plug it into the port in your car. It monitors speed, distance, time, & breaking. You can qualify for discounts if you drive during non-peak hours, limit "hard" braking, and drive less than the average for people in your area. I'm a good candidate for this program because some days I drive less than 10 miles - that's to work and then back home. I've also been told that I drive like a 70-year-old woman (or, at least that's what I gather from the number of people who ride my ass in the 20 mph school zone). Since the device doesn't have GPS they can't compare speed data to the speed limits. In my case that kinda sucks, since I usually drive within the limit and would *love* Progressive to know that and give me a discount.

You can log into your account and check your driving stats, which is super cool. Here's some data from my ride to work:

A visual of my morning commute to work. Yes, I drive a Subaru like everyone else in Colorado. 

See those tiny bumps at the beginning where my speed fluctuates between 3 and 10 mph in a very short span? That's me driving over about 18 speed bumps in the parking deck at my apartment. It takes me three and a half minutes to get from the fifth level to the exit gate. This is especially trying if i am running late, because there's really nothing you can do about it. 

Now let's look at the graph of the trip Andy & I made last weekend to Keystone ski resort:

Took us 2.5 hours to travel what usually only takes 1:15 (80 miles).  As you can see we spent a lot of time in bumper-to-bumper traffic. We forgot it was X Games weekend. Oops. Thank you, I-70, for the proper initiation. 

And if you're wondering what a "hard brake" is, here's how Progressive presents the data - Andy was driving during this period and he's in big trouble with me:


 Bastard. But at least the hard braking was during the low-risk time.

Ok, I'm done plugging my auto insurance company. Now on to a few other random things:

  • "Paper Planes" by M.I.A - worst and most annoying song ever. You've heard it, you just didn't know what it was called.
  • I finally dropped AT&T as my cell carrier. Since I don't have a smartphone and don't talk much, it really didn't make sense for me to have a plan with them. Now I'm with Virgin Mobile on a pay-as-you-go plan. Seriously, I feel like an idiot for not switching to them like, 2 years ago. The phone cost me $50 and it's kinda crappy, but it does the same stuff my last phone did and I actually get a stronger signal inside my apartment than I did using AT&T. 
  • WTF is the appeal with Pinterest? That's all I heard about these days. I've never looked at it. I guess I know what it is on a basic level, but apparently women are obsessed with it and it sounds pretty dumb.  My understanding is that you can display and share craft ideas, recipes, and other bullshit that looks pretty around the house. This sounds lame to me. I feel that crafting is pointless (unless it's for halloween), nor do I care what other women are cooking for their perfect families or making or using to organize their homes. When I get home from work, I plant my ass in front of the tv with a bag of wheat thins. When I'm done doing that, I bitch about having to cook something for dinner, but also bitch about getting takeout because I don't want to leave the apartment again (well, mainly b/c I don't want to put a blemish on my Snapshot record, see above). I'm lazy at times, and it's great. If I'm having a get-together, my guests are eating veggies & hummus, followed by an inexpensive meat that Andy's in charge of grilling. They're drinking whatever beer is in the fridge. Some people (women) go to a lot of trouble and spend money on stupid stuff that doesn't matter, and it seems like Pinterest is playing into this. Damn, why couldn't I have thought of that?


1.20.2012

Now that it's the middle of January, I'll tell you about my Christmas holiday.

Yikes, it's been a while since I posted. Most of what I'm posting below will not be interesting to most of you. Just putting it out there.

My mom & brother flew out here for Christmas and we spent a few days in the mountains. The day they arrived Denver got about 10 inches of snow. The ski resorts, however, got zero snow. We had fun, but I was really disappointed in the snow conditions and it really put me in a funk. Lift ticket prices also put me in a funk. It is NOT ok to charge full price when only 40% of the terrain is open. I got a small discount for my family since I'm a local pass holder, but still, it's the principle of it you know.

Breckenridge 12/25/2011 and Keystone 12/26

I've always felt that novelty hats were kinda stupid, you know, unless you're 8 years old. However, I need you to see how cute my mom looks in this hat:

Cougar hat: Mary's on the prowl...Rawr!

Speaking of stupid unless you're 8 years old, look at my beloved stuffed animal (and ignore the ridiculous expression on my face):


I don't claim to be normal.

I had nothing to do with this, I swear. Mary Ellen wanted to put Gobbles in the hot tub, and fortunately she found the perfect apparatus. Many thanks to condo owners Bill & Claudia Schmid of Banner, Wyoming for 1) having a metal bowl and 2) for having the hot tub serviced on short notice. 

So not only did a have an extended holiday break from work, but I took off a few days off earlier this month to visit my family in GA. I got lots of free meals and my mom's friend even hooked me up with two half-gallons of boiled custard.

8 grams of fat per serving, wooo-wheee!

So now I'm back in normal mode, which means working 30 hours per week, playing hockey on the weekend, continually schooling everyone in words with friends, hitting the gym to negate all the delicious local microwbrews i consume (primarily Long's Peak Rasperry Wheat from the Estes Park brewery), and watching lots of really bad reality tv. Tough life, I know. Andy & I are kinda holding off on the snowboarding thing until we know there's some good snow or until we have some friends going and we can all carpool or split the cost of a condo. We've got plans to join some friends at Vail early in February and then we're meeting up with some other friends at Steamboat Springs, but other than that we're doing a pretty crappy job of maximizing the value of our ski passes.

That's it for now. I just acquired some good material for my next post, so instead of posting it tonight I'll wait until next week.

12.19.2011

holiday stuff

i got my special order form back from king soopers a few weeks ago. first thought: my boiled custard hath been delivered to the store!!

the front of the card that i filled out in store...


noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!

well, damn. andy was almost as disappointed as i was, then proceeded to buy egg nog. yak. i asked my mom to buy me some boiled custard from the kroger in georgia and save it for me when i'm there on january 5th. i don't know when the stores stop carrying it, but i think she's gonna be awesome and ask the dairy manager when the last batch comes in. hallelujah. and mom, if you're reading this: i will need ginger cookies to go with the boiled custard.

and another holiday-related disappointment/rant:

my apartment complex participated in an adopt-a-family type gift giving thingy a few weeks ago. they posted a few flyers around the complex telling people to stop by the leasing office or the business center to get a list of items to purchase. i got the list and purchased item X, and planned to buy items Y and Z. i notified the people in the office that andy & i would take care of items X, Y, and Z so that they could cross those items off the list. the very next day we got a note in our door (as did every resident) reminding us of the holiday party and the adopt-a-family wish list. and of course, the items we purchased had not been removed from the list. the next day i had to retrieve a fedex package from the office, so since i was already down there i expressed my concern to the assistant manager that the family was going to get duplicate gifts, rather than have everything on their wish list covered (which is the entire purpose of having a list, right?) see? you like what i did there? rather than accuse him of having crappy logistics i played the demure, worried, humanitarian who wanted the family to get everything on the list (which, i do want that). his response was something like this:  "oh, well, i mean, the way we look at it, if the kid gets three pairs of shoes, then that's great, because that's more than they ever had before." what?! no way. 

so, a few days later when we got around to buying the remaining two items, i sent another email to the leasing staff confirming that we had purchased items X, Y, Z, and would wrap them and drop them off at the party. we showed up at the party with the gifts, and one of the staff members asked us to write down our names and what we had purchased. seriously? i sent two emails with this exact information. anyway, at the end of the night i checked the list and - yep - richard would be getting three black coats, and lisa would get two pairs of slipper boots. good thing we included the gift receipts with ours.

so yes, the family got things that they wanted, but my point is that the people who manage this place are a bunch of ass clowns (and i'm a control freak). had this been better organized, the family would have gotten more of what they wanted. it's really quite simple. just assign items to participants depending on how much they choose to spend. the way my church used to do this is they had a small christmas tree adorned with notecards. each notecard had two items written on it. this is nice because you can see all the items and pick which two fit your budget or shopping habits, then take the card from the tree so no one else will buy the same stuff. genius!

11.09.2011

some awesome stuff

well, it's the Christmas season once again. while i do celebrate the birth of Christ as our savior, i don't buy a tree or send out cards. however, i *do* partake in stuffing my face with many seasonal food items: gingerbread cookies, peppermint bark, peppermint ice cream, mary ellen chex mix, pumpkin roll, and... boiled custard.  so, i didn't give it much thought until a few weeks ago WHEN I COULDN'T FIND IT IN ANY GROCERY STORES IN DENVER, but apparently it's a southern thing. maybe you already knew this. anyway, today after work i went on a mission to King Soopers and put a request in at the customer service counter for them to acquire boiled custard and sell it to me. 

if you need more info on boiled custard here is a previous posts about this delectable holiday dairy treat: http://agurley.blogspot.com/2008/11/maybe-next-year-chron.html

and here's my lunch from the other day. food service worker cindy gives me extra if i want it. you rule, cindy!

$3.50, bitches.

my favorite non-reality tv show on these days is workaholics on comedy central. if you're not watching it, you should be. it's incredibly crude, which of course, makes it funny [to me]. its about three guys who are both roommates and coworkers. they hate their jobs and spend a lot of time getting drunk & smoking weed. that may not sound like a great storyline, but trust me, it's brilliant. and again, it's totally crude - if you like always sunny, give this one a try.



i heard a story on npr the other day about financial literacy programs in some colorado elementary schools. i'm not just talking about wants/needs, saving, and interest. some classes were learning about roth IRAs, taxable income, managing real household expenses, etc.  i love the idea of educating younger children about this kind of stuff. maybe these kids will become more fiscally responsible adults.

if you want your hands to feel great and smell like fruit loops cereal, buy the grapefruit & bergamot hand cremé by kiss my face. it's expensive so i don't buy it often, but it's good, and it will totally trip you out how it smells JUST LIKE fruit loops. yum.

one of the awesomest things i've ever purchased is a water bottled called a hydro flask. i didn't know how awesome it would be at the time - basically i just thought i was buying a souvenir water bottle from the masters golf tournament - but it's the miracle bottle. keeps cold water cold in a hot car for hours & doesn't sweat. also keeps hot liquid hot in a cold car. amazing. i usually only fill it with cold water, but last week i filled it with hot chocolate and stashed it in the car all day while we were snowboarding. it was darn cold in the car, but the beverage was still hot when we got back. ahh...it's truly the little things.






10.31.2011

anchors aweigh!


a wasted seaman and the U.S.S. ?


hey, it spins!

inspiration came when i found that stylin' navy shirt w/ the epaulets & gold buttons on the clearance rack at Ross for for $8.49. figured i could build a pretty good costume around it. i already had the captains hat (from 1989?) and andy already had the white pants from the colonel sanders costume, so... that was easy. but it took me 2 months to make that stupid wheel, mainly b/c i had to plan it all out so it wouldn't fall apart after wearing it for 10 minutes. i made the wheel from really thick cardboard. the side is thinner cardboard braced with bamboo skewers (hand whittled so that each end would be sharp enough to puncture the front & back surfaces) and then i added a ton of gorilla glue, you know, just to make it extra sturdy. the center section is a foam cylinder shape that i was kinda forced to buy at a craft store due to time constraints, and the spokes are clear plastic tubes for protecting fluorescent lights. i mounted the wheel onto a piece of sheet metal using a 5" screw threaded all the way through, and hung the metal piece from my neck. also had the bottom of the mount strapped to me with a stretchy belt. 

i think i went a little over budget ($30), only because i had to buy two cans of spray paint, and the rope wasn't cheap either. it's definitely a quality piece. maybe i can rent it out next year and recover some of my expenses.


10.25.2011

costume phase 3

halloween: the good news is that costume construction is on schedule. as one of my former coworkers would say, "everything's ship-shape!" like i said in the previous post, if i show you pics of the whole thing you'll be able to tell what it is, so here are photos of some parts and some close-ups:


  




freecycle update: previous post mentioned a guy who sent odd text messages. he came for the stuff- no eye patch, no suspicious vehicle. just some middle-age guy and his wife in an old pickup. completely unremarkable.

football: maybe you saw the broncos/dolphins game last sunday. i was never a tim tebow fan - mainly b/c i dislike almost all SEC teams and got sick of the media hype while he was at UF. i wouldn't call myself a broncos fan yet, but i'm getting there (i know the names of four players now, instead of two!) it seems like all the hopes and dreams of the city of denver are on tim tebow. people go absoutely bananas over the guy. it's so bizarre.

radio: my friends know that i love morning radio shows, but denver's stuff just doesn't do it for me. sorry bj, howie, & erica. i gave it a good, solid 2 months but i just had to switch back to atlanta's "the bert show." i mean, you never forget your first love...   unfortunately during my listening gap i missed out on getting to know the new host (kristen). she's ok, but i'm surprised the company didn't hire someone with a drastically different perspective, because in my opinion she's a blend of jen hobby & wendy adams.  i still miss melissa carter, but at least i've still got jeff.  fortunately there's a good afternoon show here so it almost makes up for the pain.

weather: a winter storm is forecast for tonight, continuing into tomorrow afternoon (i think i just heard...thunder snow?). denver may get up to 8 inches of snow, which apparently is a lot for this time of year. my mom (mary ellen) is flying in tomorrow, so i would really like it if she didn't experience horrendous delays; although she's so cool i doubt it would mess her up too bad. i love the way she's always down for whatever these days.

hockey: the good news is that i'm actually playing. the facilities are nice, and they're close to my apartment. the bad news is that i think i'm playing in what's known as the "old man league." there's very little team camraderie, and i think there is only one other female player in the division. if you were to take a team poll, i'm sure i'd be voted worst player. that never feels good. if i were to compare it to playing in the AAHL, i'd say the division is equivalent to playing in middle A. some guys have real skillz but play kinda lazy. i lack skill, but play really hard, so sometimes it evens out.

books: i've been reading like a fiend since the denver library has ebooks you can check out on your digital reader. the checkout period is 21 days and if you don't finish the book it just disappears from your shelf. can't renew. aww. most newer books have a lengthy wait list, so a lot of times i'll put myself on the wait list for several books...and then for some reason they all become available at the same time and then i have to read 3 books in 21 days. so far i've read twenties girl, smokin' seventeen, outliers, and now i'm on the help (i swear i was on the wait list for months). it's pretty nice not to have to visit the library to get your hands on "free" books.

stuffed animals: i have two that hang out on/in my bed. one is a wild turkey. the other is the yellow angry bird.

that last one was really random, but gives you a deeper insight to the girl behind the blog.

10.11.2011

costume phase 2

well...sorry to disappoint, but there is no phase 2. construction came together rather fast. if i showed you a pic there wouldn't be much of a guessing game left. so here are some hints: there's no historical or pop-culture basis, mine has a moving part, and andy is reusing the white pants he wore last year as colonel sanders.

oh and check this out - denver got the first snow of the season on saturday. i set my alarm for 7:30am so i could spray paint pieces of my costume. the reason it had to be that early is because the only place for me to paint is in the parking garage and i knew no one would be up at that hour on a saturday. i really didn't need an audience (or people telling me not to spray paint near their cars). i opened my blinds at 7:30, saw that most of the ground was covered in snow, and couldn't stop laughing. i think it was 65 the day before.  then the snow melted 3 hours later. apparently that's the way it goes around here.

----

ok so you think my blatant disregard for proper capitalization is annoying? try this on for size:

Hi. Were. Interested. Thanks. 

this was a response from something i posted on freecycle the other day. weird, but excusable. maybe he was sending from his mobile device. but then later i got this:

Ok. That. Sounds. Great. See. You. Tomorrow yes. I. Will. Call. When on. My. Way.

seriously? man, there are weird people on freecycle.  and then i got another message:

Sorry. Couldn't. Make. It. Today.  Drain. Backed. Up. Had. To. Rent. 100 ft. Snake. And. Roto the. Drain. I can. Come. Pick. Up. In. The. AM. ON. WEDNESDAY i promise. Thanks. So. Much. For. Under standing. 

dude. what is up with the periods?! what kind of person does this? if he ends up picking up his item (don't worry, he's meeting me at work and not at my apartment) i'll let you know what he looks like. i bet he pulls up in a panel van wearing an eye patch or something. 

9.29.2011

costume construction, phase 1

I was fortunate to find a good job in Denver after about 1.5 months of dedicated searching. I only applied to jobs that were downtown or a reasonable driving distance from my apartment so that the commute wouldn't suck (i had a 1-mile commute for 3 years in atlanta, and yes, it was amazing). I also only applied to jobs that had regular hours and decent benefits... until I came across an ad for a part-time IT position at a private school 5 miles from my apartment. Now I'm working there as an entry-ish level technician, part of a 4 person team that keeps everybody's stuff working. It's pretty awesome as far as jobs go.

Now, on to the main reason for this post: the halloween costume teaser series (visit  http://agurley.blogspot.com/search/label/halloween and scroll to the post from 2010). if you don't know my deal with costumes by now, you're either a new reader of this blog or don't do enough stalking on facebook. i always go to great lengths to make a homemade costume while keeping costs low (<$30). i'm usually able to think of humorous, original couples-themed costumes that aren't lame. 2007 was construction worker and man hole, 2009 i think we ignored altogether because halloween was on a wednesday and 2008 seemed near impossible to top. 2009 i made (with a little help from mary ellen) the most kick ass cockroach costume one could make on a budget - andy was an exterminator, and 2010 was the year of colonel sanders and the double down sandwich.

my idea for this year is kinda tame, but i'm hoping the originality and construction quality will make it cool. i'm hesitant about putting too much effort into this mainly because we don't have that many friends yet since we're still so new to town, and it's no guarantee that we'll even be invited to a party. i mean how bad would that suck?! maybe i can wear it to work on the 28th, and then during my hockey game on the 29th (i'm attempting to make this costume adaptable for hockey gear just in case). below are some of my supplies. phase 1 has begun.

cardboard, spray paint, rope, foam squares, paperboard tubes

by the way, if anyone in the denver area wants to use my cockroach/exterminator costume i'll rent it to ya. would also be willing to trade for supplies to complete my idea for this year.

9.20.2011

Help! There's a Jamaican man trapped in the storm drain!

The city of Aurora, Colorado is big on water education. Storm drains have markers that read "dump no waste, drains to creek" and there are signs in the parks that explain the water system and the effects of pollution on the water supply. There's also another unique educational feature that tends to startle passersby:

I'm the city of Aurora's talking storm drain. I'm here to remind you to take good care of your local storm drain and your watershed.


Hey man, use less fertilizer this time around. It will keep the stream happy, and save you lots of money.


What's up man? It would really clog my system if you wash that mud & road grime from your car into my drain.

I like their approach on personifying the storm drain, but it really did scare the crap out of me the first time I encountered it. The message is pretty simple, and it's fun interacting with the sensor. The Jamaican accent is comical to me. I can imagine the marketing/concept meeting going something like this:

Al: Ok guys, the city of Aurora is using this product to educate the public about the water system. We have a script, but something is missing... go ahead and listen to it.
[everyone listens to dialog A]
Bill: Well, instead of just random blurbs, how about if we make the storm drain the character. That might be cool.
Charlie: Yeah! And give him an accent! An Italian mobster?
Bill: Canadian? Cockney!
Al: Cockney?
Bill: Ay, 'enry 'iggins!
Al: No, no. Come on guys, think. Imagine the most perfect storm drain: cool and mellow, yet concerned about toxic waste. What does this guy sound like?
Charlie: Slappa da bass, man!

So if it doesn't give you a heart attack you might find it entertaining.

9.12.2011

Labor Day vacation rental

Hey peeps, good news: I got a job.  They're paying me.  And it doesn't suck!!  Anyway, I'll touch on that next week I guess. Now on to the main feature...

i've rented a lot of condos/vacation homes in the last 5 years. nothing extremely luxurious or high-end, but most of the places have been at ski resorts so they're all fairly nice. almost all of them i found through vrbo.com, although i did get one on eBay (which, while still relatively expensive, was by far the nicest and best bargain of them all). anyway, the owner will usually email a rental agreement as well as another document containing helpful info about the home or neighborhood, stuff like where to park, how to get into the unit, how to work the hot tub, and what to do before you leave. We rented a suite inside a home in Breckenridge over Labor day weekend. This particular ower/manager sent me all of the info, and it was immediately apparent that i was dealing with a crazy person. Get a load of this:

If you plan on using the hot tub, please bring your own towels for that.

Come on.  Really? I can tell you right now if we hadn't been local, we would not have brought our own towels.

another:

Please caution all guests not to use our towels and washcloths to remove lipstick and facial makeup. You will be charged for all permanently soiled linens & towels, or for excessive cleaning time used in trying to remove spots.

'Scuse me? I totally get that you don't want to have to keep buying new towels all the time, but I'm pretty sure that having your stuff stained, broken, &/or stolen is part of having a vacation rental property. Oh, and there's this amazing product...It's sold at the...uh...the store, and it's like, a chemical that removes stains.  I think it's called...bleach?  Yeah, that sounds right.  And let me remind you I paid a $50 cleaning fee.  For two nights.

and another:

Please be sure that all kitchen items and dishes are cleaned and returned to the cabinets. Failure to properly pick up after yourself may result in excessive cleaning required after your departure.

Whaaaat?! But wait, there's more:

Upon check out we request that all trash be placed in the outside wooden enclosure to the right of the front door.

Noooo!!  What is this craziness?!  Fortunately I did not get charged for leaving the trash in the room. Then there was about a half a page worth of instructions about parking, which could have been reduced to three sentences. Inside the suite there was another page of instructions about how to work the thermostat and base heaters that, again, could have been condensed down to three bullet points. I bet this person thinks he/she is the best property manager out there, with all the rules and stupid instructions. Bah. I'm a little mad that I gave this person my business, but I only had about 4 days to book something so I was a little desperate. Our stay was ok for the price, but I would have rather coughed up an extra $20/night and stayed at another place where the bathroom a) had an exhaust fan, and b)wasn't in the kitchen.  that was interesting.

8.17.2011

what i've been up to

one great thing about living in colorado: no one gives a shit about the university of georgia.

another great thing about living in colorado: it's hot here, but i'm not cursing about it at 8:30 in the morning.

i just consumed a large Wendy's frosty in a very short amount of time. twas a bit of a celebratory thing, to congratulate myself for a job interview that went really well (let's hope i'm right). i've had several job interviews, many for positions for which i'm overqualified. it's really no fun sitting in a room with an interviewer trying to convince her why you want a job that you're overqualified for, especially when she's looked at your education and work experience and even comments on the curiosity of it all.  i've found some IT jobs that seem good for me (ie. they're not too "corporate" and i won't be in over my head), and if things go alright then i should have a decent job that i don't hate by the end of the month.

ok so here's a recap of what i/we have been doing:

earlier in august i got the opportunity to join some guys on an early-morning weekday ski outing...one of the few perks of not having a job. was a little weird asking a complete stranger to take me out on his boat, but hey, nothing ventured nothing gained, right?

this is just a reservoir at a state park, but i still call it a lake. the best part: it's 6 miles from my apartment.


andy & i went to the new ikea in centennial a few weeks ago. as much as we wanted to avoid the whole situation, andy need to purchase a specific item for his office. imagine that, going to a store to purchase an item. what a novel idea. the reason this is so odd is that we usually only find ourselves at ikea when we've run out of things to do on sunday afternoon. anyway, it was pretty nutso, but we got the item and then gorged ourselves on burritos at illegal pete's.

that same weekend we managed to get up to boulder for a hike. we hit up the farmers market and then hiked the "royal arch" trail at chautauqua.



i think we climbed about 1500 vertical feet over the course of the trail and we did it in about 3.5 hours, i think.  i dont remember. i'd really love to hike up a real mountain, but those are like, all day affairs.  i was really tired after our excursion to boulder so i dunno if i'd be able to make it on a 7 hour hike. i mean, i'm sure i could do it, but i'd be pretty dead.

this past weekend we went to a random yard party for 20s/30s couples - i found the group on meetup.com - and fortunately it wasn't sketchy or weird. we met two other couples who we would probably hit up for another social activity in the near future. one guy invited us to join his ultimate frisbee pickup league that meets in a park near downtown, so we showed up and got our asses kicked (but in a good way). we're not horrible at ultimate, but we're definitely not in peak physical condition so we probably seemed a little weak. we've got one month to train until hockey starts, and this seems like a great way to train off the ice.  we're fortunate that the guys who showed up to play were friendly and obviously just in it for fun & not personal glory, unlike the peeps from the afdc (atlanta flying disc/douchebag club) that we tried playing with several years ago. that was definitely not good times, but makes for a great story. think dodgeball the movie meets ultimate frisbee.

and then on sunday we discovered a hockey superstore practically in our back yard. you'd have to know that it's there in order to find it, as you can't really see it from the road.



we thought we hit the motherlode, mainly since i need some practice jerseys and new shoulder pads, but the stuff wasn't really priced that great.  the only good thing is that you can get your skates sharpened for $5.

ok, well that's it for now. in my next entry i hope to report on this sushi place near us called "sushi train." we have yet to eat sushi out here and have picked this particular place due to its proximity to our apartment and the positive reviews on urban spoon. now that i'm thinking sushi, i might just have to petition to eat there tonight. or maybe i'll just go to this place since i'm low on cash:

chinese food by the scoop & $5.88 dinner buffet: better than remy's II?

8.04.2011

a story to distract you from wondering if i've found a job yet (no, i haven't)

well, i finally saw the harry potter movie.  right before the movie started, some people came in with their baby.  not their two year old, but a baby in a carrier seat thingy who needed to be entertained with a noisy rattle toy. i don't even think i need to explain why that was a problem.

and then the crown jewel of all "stupid people on craigslist" stories:

i posted an ad on craigslist to try to sell my two giant canvases. these things are awesome but are just way too big for our new apartment. i bought them (from a woman who listed them on craigslist) when i moved into the condo w/ the super-high ceilings back in february and they were really cool. anyway, here's the ad:


(i'm posting a screenshot since a link will only be valid for the duration of the listing)

The ad gives you all the important information, like the price, how big they are, and the condition. Last night, i got the following question over email:

          How much for your art paintings?

Really, you weren't able to get that info from the ad?  Just in case she wasn't the one who saw the ad, say, her room mate saw it and quickly texted the girl to email me about them, I simply replied, "$120 for both." What I really wanted to say was something like "um, did you even read the ad, asshat?" Of course I would never jeopardize a sale by doing that, but it took an enormous amount of restraint not to.  She responded with a counteroffer, and I replied "Sure, that's fine, as long as you've got a big truck, these things are massive," just reiterating the fact that the paintings were very large.

Next morning I find this question in my inbox, from the same girl:

          Wow well can you give me the measurement of the width. All I have is a pt cruiser but maybe could borrow my room mates truck.

Again, all I wanted to do was type back "OMG?!  DID YOU EVEN READ THE AD? I STRONGLY SUGGEST THAT YOU READ THE AD because you're asking me stupid questions. here's the link..." But again, I dug deep and was able to summon the strength to reply with the dimensions (but only after typing out hateful retorts & quickly deleting them). I really think she never even saw the ad, there's just really no other excuse for it.