fore....goo?

obviously i'm a not a huge fan of capitalization or punctuation, but i try to make an effort with vocabularly and grammar. well, most of the time. check out this amazing scene from last week's episode of "the celebrity apprentice" - from left we have brande roderick who is a former playboy model, poker champion annie duke, and melissa rivers. i know you will laugh at this.



i bet this'll end up on E!'s "the soup." along with something from every other show i watch.

continuing the morbid posts...

i'll go ahead and tell you that if i drop dead today or die in the next 48 hours, a certain barista at starbucks is to blame. location on cobb pkwy next to steak 'n shake, just outside 285. tall white guy with a beard/goatee. if only i had gotten his name.... not that i'm expecting to keel over any time soon, but if i do, at least there will be some kind of explanation. also, this post ties in to my friend matt's post about death. if you have a spare minute, and i know you do, read it here.

moving on. here's the story:

before you judge me, i just want to say that i *never* go to starbucks. for many reasons, number one being i'm poor. i'll supplement this with the fact that i don't like to indulge in stuff that a)makes me fat b)leaves a weird taste in my mouth c)makes me cranky at the end of the day d)is overpriced. granted, i'll buy a bag of candy and eat the whole thing in one sitting, an activity that fulfills a,b, and c, but candy doesn't usually doesn't run me over $2, and thank goodness i can afford that. but all bets are off if someone gives me this stuff free of charge. then i just go nuts. absolutely buck wild. so today i went nuts because i had a $5 gift card and found myself very near starbucks with a few minutes to spare. how i acquired this gift card deserves it's own post, so i'll get around to that. but right now i should probably get to the point about dying.

i pulled up to the drive thru and announced that i wasn't sure what i wanted. mentioned something along the lines of a chai latte, something non-fat. sensing my unfamiliarity with the menu through the speaker, the guy was like, hey, do you like mocha? i said sure. then he said he'd been on this kick where he put a few pumps of mocha into his chai and that i should try it. i was like ok, bring it, i'm up for an adventure. in hindsight, probably shouldn't have said "i'm up for an adventure," as it's rather vague and can invite all sorts of trouble. anyway i got to the window, grabbed my concoction but told him he better not be trying to poison me. i wasn't even joking but kinda played it like i was. he was cool about it, and the drink tasted pretty good. like an oatmeal cookie with some chocolate chips. but that was at first. i'm actually sitting here right now sipping the very same drink and it tastes really weird. i'm still getting the oatmeal cookie taste, but now i'm getting a very weird aftertaste. like...arsenic? yak anus surprise? yeesh. think i'll go eat lunch.

my stuffed animals are suicidal

so i'm gone for one night during the week and my stuffed animals decide that life just isn't worth living:

english got himself wrapped up in the blinds

buzz goes for the coat hanger

so all of this was waiting for me when i came back from andy's early this morning. i let my bro & his buddy stay at my place b/c they wanted to be a little closer to augusta so they wouldn't have to get up as early to travel to the masters. i crashed at andy's. i was relieved that this was not a double suicide attempt, however i'm a bit disturbed by john's murderous intentions.

i would totally lay a beat down for this guy

some of my coworkers and I were talking about companies that do things a little differently from their competitors, and how taking certain risks led to extreme success. most people down here immediately think of chickfila. not only does this company treat their employees very well, the food is effin' delicious too. and then someone mentioned southwest airlines. i don't know much about southwest and their story, but apparently they really value their employees, and the employees in turn enjoy working for them. check this guy out:



yeah, so it's obviously not freestyle, but i'm feelin' it.