i love gooooooold

sunday (yesterday) i did something that i don't usually do: i sat on my ass in front of the tv [and watched tv] the entire day. i got sucked into this stupid "the lottery changed my life" mini-series on tlc which was pretty entertaining, but the ads during the commercial breaks were all for those gold buyback programs which are pretty damn annoying. you know the ones: "i had no idea my gold jewelry was worth so much money!" here is a snippet from one of those commercials, starring possibly the most frightening woman alive. woman? i bet you already know what i'm about to show you...



and omg they totally trick you into watching the commercial because the first woman is attractive. then they pull the ol' bait and switch. oh and don't get me started on the 3rd lady - "i got more money than i ever imagined!" really. more than you could *ever* imagine? anyway now i'm getting into advertising tactics, but my point is that i'm extremely frightened by the 2nd lady. i think i'll have to check under my bed for monsters before i go to sleep.

damn i love me some tv

oooh, oooh! tv time. it is the bestest time. right now i am trying to blog whilst watching the finale of america's next top model. eh, who am i kidding. i can't do *anything* and watch antm at the same time. this show gets 100% of my attention. so, i'll be back in a bit.

--

alrighty. tyra just crowned another winner of antm and i am sad because once again there will be this huge void in my life... so thank goodness there are more shows to watch:

• the biggest loser
  
  this show makes me feel skinny and awesome. there's a lady on this season (the family edition) - vicky - and she pisses me off so bad. she's this hulking, manipulative troll, and while she is looking better since she's dropped some serious poundage, she is as mean as ever. also, she has a son named chance. i have a problem with that. i think it's a good name for a dog, not a human. unfortunately vicky is doing well in the game much to my (and my friend naomi's) dismay. naomi & i have gotten into this groove of emailing each other our frustrations over the show, usually right after it airs. here's a snipppet:
  
  "omg...vicky. i despise her! everytime she opens her mouth or does one of her evil looks i have to turn to brandon and say "WHAT A BITCH!" she needs a beat down..... i will be anxiously waiting for her to be voted off. and yes, heba is a retarded fat cow and she is next in line on my hate list."
  
  dude. harsh. naomi, you are a bad, bad girl.
  
  
• stylista
  
  ah. another elimination challenge show. this gem is from the makers of top model and project runway and is a huge waste of time. which means i'm watching it. the contestants are vying for an internship as a fashion editor at elle magazine. think the devil wears prada as a reality show.
  
  
  
• paris hilton's my new bff
  
  this really needs no explanation. and i am not going to apologize for watching this.
  
  
• the real housewives of atlanta
  
  they've got more money than they've got sense, but i'll still watch 'em on tv. the show follows 5 ladies from atlanta (well, metro) and features footage of their day-to-day activities, relationships, and personal projects. all of it is complete rubbish. all of these gals have personal assistants, chefs and stylists, but one actually has a personal shoe salesman. i can understand having a chef, a maid, and all that, but come on. makes me sick because that shoe dude probably makes way more $$ than i do. he's gotta be laughing all the way to the bank. so one chick (the only white one) is an aspiring country singer which makes absolutely no sense because she can't sing, oh but wait, she knows dallas austin and she thinks he's actually going to produce her album. she's totally nasty. as my brother would say, "money can't buy class." the lady with the shoe man is trying to launch a clothing line, and it's laughable because she just pays other people to do the work - as in, she has to hire someone to sketch for her since she is obviously talentless, and you better believe another person does the sewing, and then someone else does marketing, etc. most of the show focuses on how they are all two-faced backstabbing whores. they insist they all knew each other before the show, but i'm not buyin' it.
  

wow is that it? i seem to be slacking on the number of series i am watching. oh, i was totally watching project runway season 5 and top design, both on bravo, and both are over now. this was my first season watching project runway and i'm an addict now. top design was stupid but i got sucked in early so i had to finish it out. right. now i'm just waiting for the apprentice to return and i will be happy.

another game i like to play

if you're having a bad day, maybe this photo of a random guy with a sweet 'stache will make you chuckle.

i was searching for some graphics on google images for a project i'm doing at work, and this is what came up when i queried "independent counsel resources." friendly looking fellow. what's so awesome is that his name - well, a common abbreviation of his first name - is exactly what you'd think it would be. go ahead, take a guess. you can find the answer here. fun game, huh. sometimes i think i look like a "stephanie" in some of my photos.

today i exercised...

...my right to vote. boo-yah! this post is brought to you by my boredom as i watch the election coverage on tv (as soon as paris hilton's my new bff comes on, i'm changing the channel).

back o' the line bright and early at 7:10

dedicated fulton county citizens endure a long line.

my passion for democracy is clearly evident in this photo. clearly. but really, i think i look pretty good for having just rolled out of bed. and screw you if you think i'm lame for having someone take my photo.

life on mars

(no, not the tv show)

scientists should send me to mars to probe for signs of life. it is guaranteed that whatever creatures exist there will bite me.

for added grody-ness, here are some pics!!

*update - i censored by request, but honestly it's not that gross except the fact that it's a shot of my foot. if you really wanna see it just click the image.* these are fire ant bites from saturday. i totally just took this pic like 5 minutes ago. i know, it could have been a lot worse, but these still hurt/itch like hell. perhaps i should leave my shoes on while tailgating in the grass.

i don't know what bit me here, but it was rough.

advertising

awesome:

as i was driving to work on tuesday i saw an airplane working on a skywriting. there was a big "A" and an "I" and something that looked like the beginnings of an "R." kinda weird to see that at 8:00 am but figured that skywriters need practice just like anybody else...or some lucky lady in atlanta was about to be surprised with an early-morning marriage proposal. the following day around mid-afternoon i saw the same thing, but this time i could see "AIRTRA" which i figured could be airtran. and then i saw it again on my way home from work as i was driving on the interstate. funny i never saw the entire message. i tried to get a picture of it but my camera was stuck in my purse and by the time i got it out of the case i had veered off to the west and couldn't see it anymore. major failure, and i'm still disappointed with myself. anyway, mystery solved: http://www.ajc.com/business/content/business/delta/stories/2008/10/22/air_tran_skywriting_ads.html

target stores have this awesome ad/promotion thing for "going green" in people magazine this month. there is a postage-paid address label printed on the inside cover and if you remove the cover (front & back) you can make a little pouch. and then if you stuff the pouch with 5 plastic bags from target stores, seal it up, put your return address on it, and pop it in the mail, target will mail you a reusable tote bag. how freaking cool. and its totally free, as long as you can round up 5 target bags. i haven't done this yet but i better act fast before someone else in my office steals the people magazine.

this is totally unrelated to advertising, but it does fall under the category of awesome: i scored my first goal last sunday. not just my first goal of the season, but first goal *ever.* totally rad. and it was a legit goal too. the bad news is now i guess i have to put up more points or i'll look crappy.

tastes like burning

new food in my neighborhood:

pollo brassa - this is a casual rotisserie chicken place in the old giorgio's pizza location across from post collier hills apartments. peruvian flare. i feel bad making judgments on this place since it's very new and they don't really have their shit together, but i'll give you the scoop. really tasty chicken. weird atmosphere. still feels like giorgios except it's brighter and there's no pizza. they need to ditch the foam cups and plastic cutlery. i have a feeling the disposable stuff is due to the newness. anyway, i left smelling like a rotisserie. not a good thing. seriously, the smell permeated every fiber of my clothes. i wore the same jeans again the next day to work and i smelled like burning. i probably even tasted like burning. heh.

bone garden cantina - really cool mexicanish place by the guys who brought you the vortex. i say "mexicanish" because although the food is definitely mexican, the servers look like they're straight out of a used record shop in little five points. or they're georgia state students. probably both. this place is on ellsworth industrial blvd between howell mill & marietta blvd. my friend walter has been telling me about this place for months. luckily i convinced my friends that six feet under was a bad idea (see post from february 27), and we wound up here. the restaurant is a part of the "lumber yard" complex which is really cool but smelled like a used diaper filled with indian food inside a rotten pumpkin, according to chad. so that was kinda nasty. the restaurant is small but the decor is awesome. total skeleton theme. there are custom paintings and sculptures that will definitely scare the kids. the menu is one of those a la carte deals which allows you to sample a lot of things, but doing so can get expensive if you're super-hungry. i kinda felt like i was gambling since i wasn't familiar with a lot of the items and wasn't sure how big the portions were. after i had ordered i got scared because heard this lady at the neighboring table say "this is nasty," directly to the server. anyway, i got a tilapia taco and a pork sope (pronounced SOH-peh) and both were awesome. i could have eaten another taco but my cheapness held my stomach in check. oh and the guacamole was great but not worth $4. so i'll definitely be back here as long as someone else is treating.

some stuff, part 2

i'm experiencing a noticeable lack of blog-worthy stuff these days, but screw that, i'm gonna type some stuff anyway because that's the joy of blogging.

- i wore capri pants to work today with sandals. maybe they were technically cropped pants, i dunno. anyway, my point is that it's hot as crap outside and i'm ready for fall weather. then i can wear long pants and closed-toed shoes and won't have to deal with comments about my feet looking long (see post from 9-25-08) hahahaha i'm still laughing about that.

- i have all this paperboard in my trunk because i like to recycle it. the most convenient place to do this is at my office, but i always forget to get it out of my trunk. so it just collects back there and i'm too lazy to bag it up. also, i don't like carrying it up there because most of it is beer boxes and i can't fold it up small enough to fit in a normal size bag

- if anyone needs a snowboard and bindings i'm trying to sell mine... i'll make you a deal!

- my hockey team is awful. i have yet to score a goal. i've knocked a few people on their asses, so i guess that's something. andy, on the other hand, is the best player on the team.

- my roomie bought another tv and another comcast dvr. so that makes two dvrs. score. this means i can record twice the crap that i usually do, like paris hiltons new bff and housewives of atlanta!! woo!! i've started to geting up 10 minutes earlier in the morning so i can peruse the listings and record all the garbage that's on. seriously, there are not enough hours in the day...

- jamie lynn spears is rumored to be preggers again. what a mess.

- here's a depressing piece - my mom's dog (prissy) had to be put to sleep. she was old. i'm thinking if her previous owner hadn't fed her all those blasted hamburgers from wendy's she'd still be here. r.i.p prissy!!

tuesday commute

so there was this huge gas shortage in atlanta, ya know, in case you didn't hear about it. i guess it started about two weeks ago, which is the last time i filled up my tank. the whole thing seriously pissed me off. no one seemed to be conserving gas at all. people were flocking to the stations, cars were clogging up the roads, and i got real close to having three or four car accidents. and i probably reached my quota of giving people the finger.

so in an effort to avoid fueling up, and purely for the sake of stickin'-it-to-the-man (and for my own amusement/torture, i guess), i took MARTA to & from work on tuesday. in theory, not a bad idea. in reality, WORST IDEA EVER. i was prepared to suffer, and i did: the 7-mile/15 minute journey i usually make in my car twice per day took an hour and 15 minutes (going). coming home however took almost 2 hours. the transit time alone sucked really bad, but the ride/overall experience itself was pretty shitty. can't say i wasn't expecting it. for one, i had read on the website that you could load fare onto your card on the bus (i had a breeze ticket with no funds). well that was either false or that feature wasn't working. at least the lady let me ride. so i bought a new card at the rail station. then on the CCT bus going home the driver told me that unless i call marta customer service to inform them i will be using my card on CCT, the card won't work on CCT: it works on CCT buses only when your trip originates with MARTA. it won't work on CCT if CCT is the first leg of your journey (which for me it was, coming from my office). i was completely unaware of this and then the subsequent transers messed up the card. the driver on the #37 bus almost ran over some chinese kids, the guy across from me was bitching about how loud another rider was talking - like, he was talking directly to me about how big of a moron this guy was - and well, it freakin' took forever. i was tired and cranky when i got home and wanted to kiss my car when i saw it.


yeah, gas prices are way too high, but i'll still pay up.

some stuff

over the past few days i've seen and experienced some interesting/noteworthy things. some made me laugh, some made me angry, some greatly frustrated me. regardless, i feel like i must share:

• leg warmers
  i was cruising through the mall in the accessories section and i saw a display of leg warmers. omg no way. big slouchy sock minus the footie. ridiculous. it was like i was in a time warp. if your legs are cold just wear tall socks. or warmer pants. oh...wait, i do get it. they're for fashion, not function.
  
  
  
• holidays are almost here!
  wha? i can't remember what is being advertised, but project 9-6-1 is playing this spot that says "the holidays are coming and you should come buy stuff" or something like that. well. of course the holidays are approaching. i think it's it's called THE PASSAGE OF TIME.
  
  
  
• dental hygeine
  here is a random and little-known fact about me: i floss my teeth every day. even when i come home drunk on friday night. i haven't missed a day in over 3 years. my dentist does not believe me.
  
  
  
• i have big clown feet
  someone in my office asked what size shoe i wore. i told her most of my shoes are size 8 (totally not boats). i was wondering what point she was trying to make, if any, and then she says "well, your feet look really long in those sandals." still wondering what she was getting at - i mean, that wasn't meant as a compliment, right? and funny, because those shoes were a smaller size. so i'm thinking this is the most pointless conversation i've ever had with anyone, ever. then she comes over to check my feet out, comments on the optical illusion of my shoes (something about the long piece down the center yada yada) and then says "oh, it might be because your pants are short" and i'm like bitch, they're called cropped pants, and are you trying to say i look ridiculous? the sad thing is that i thought i looked really good for once.
  
  
  
• uga flags on ambulance
  yep, that's right. if i needed to get to the hospital and that ambulance came to take me away i might just refuse the ride.
  
  
  
• my t-shirt twin
  i have this awesome t-shirt that says "aspen base operations" on the front. on the back is a nice graphic of the rocky mountains with some airplanes at the base and beneath it reads "park it in aspen." i bought it in the thrift shop in downtown aspen colorado. i saw this dude in costco wearing the exact same shirt. i went up to him and told him that i had the same shirt, only because i knew it was a rare find and because i was just curious about the shirt. he said he used to fly commuter jets into aspen and apparently that was the team shirt. so, that's kinda neat.
  
  
  
• old lady can't park car
  no surprise there. you know how some of the handicap spaces at cumberland costco are right at the front & totally separated from the other spaces by the curb? anyway, this old lady was trying to back into this handicap space and it was so pathetic. these spaces are huge and unless you're pulling in perpendicular to the space it's pretty much impossible to end up with your car outside the lines. she must have pulled up/backed in/pulled up/backed in like 10 times, and i think she curbed her tire and hit the sign post. at first i was like, oh, how sad, this old lady is having trouble parking. then i was like whatever, you suck at driving, get off the road.
  

the only reason i have a vick jersey is because it was on clearance at tjmaxx 5 years ago

when all the michael vick stuff went down a while ago i packed my vick jersey into a box with other random crap and stuffed it in the attic. this past sunday i decided to resurrect the jersey and make a few alterations:


see that? i totally turned the "7" into a "2." pretty freakin' sweet if you ask me, but it wasn't very durable. figures. i mean, there's only so much that one can demand of tape and sticky paper. my hair kept getting stuck to the tape, and bits and pieces of paper were sticking to whatever i happened to have my back against, so after a few hours it was back to vick. woof woof.

it's like a really bad disney movie

since i know shit about politics i usually steer clear of such topics; however, today i offer the following video:



i have always been fond of matt damon. and i think that if palin ever becomes president, i'll move to canada. at least there i could play more hockey.

the lip balm is $7

um, please please please tell me that this jack black brand is purely a coincidence and that jack black does not have his own line of skin care products. i've totally never heard of this stuff. maybe it's for old people, kinda like mary kay. anyway, i came across this while browsing sephora.com and after some quick googling i still don't have an answer. i'm guessing this name has nothing to do with *the* jack black only because the label is plain and the product descriptions are lame and totally unfunny. i figure if j. b. had some skin products the descriptions would be pretty awesome, like - straight from jesus ranch - "smells of shit, *liga guing gligagiggagoogoogwayogo"

*ok, i had to look that one up. i had no idea how to spell that. i'm sure that's wrong anyway.

jealousy

andy got an iPhone on wednesday night and has been ignoring me for days. i'm dealing with it.

here's a cool grasshopper i spotted on the hood of my car as i was driving to costco. he hung on for a while and even let me take his picture.

run for the border

yesterday andy & i both left our offices early so we could get down to gt campus and tailgate. we got there around 3 and saw no evidence that there was going to be a football game. we parked and set up some chairs, drank some beers, and NO ONE WAS tailgating anywhere around us. kids walking to/from class were looking at us funny. we thought maybe we had the wrong day. i mean how awesome would that be, two working adults just hangin' out drinking some beers under the magnolia trees next to the health center just for the hell of it...

and then we got this brilliant idea to hit up taco bell after we left the game. i was pretty pumped. i try to limit my intake of taco bell but it is so delicious and so when i go there i get really excited and order a lot. and i love the hot sauce. i really do. andy & i went inside rather than cruisin' the drive-thru for the very purpose of getting a lot of sauce. they don't give you enough when you ask for it at the drive-thru. so we ordered our food and i guess it was late so the staff locked the door. i saw andy grab a handful of sauce packets and when we got our food i totally forgot to get a bunch of sauce for myself. by the time i realized this i was already outside and of course locked out of the taco bell. i wanted to go to the drive thru but there were tons of cars in line and andy wouldn't have it. i was so pissed and honestly i didn't even wanna eat my treats because no sauce. oh it was horrible. but the food was good. and then this morning i felt funky, and i wondered why we had thought that eating taco bell at 10:30 would be a good idea. because it's *never* a good idea.

andy will never win

so there's this game my family & i play when we travel - basically if anyone in our group sees anyone he or she knows and can address this person by name and be recognized, he or she wins $20 from the person who initiates the game. if the initiator wins, everyone else who has agreed to the game pays a portion. the game begins only after someone has stated the rules. usually this person is smart enough to initiate once we're away from the home base. sometimes the rules vary, but hopefully you get the idea. a very cool example: my brother saw this dude he knew (the mgr at moe's in dalton) at the top of a mountain in aspen, colorado. we were taking a break from shredding the pow and saw him in a tiny pizza shack at 11,000 feet. we were pretty shocked, and my uncle paid him like 50 bucks or something. so now whenever andy & i travel i always try to get him to agree to the game. we were in the airport in cancun mexico yesterday and i found myself right next to this dude i knew from tech (we had a mutual friend and i used to spend hours copying his code). pretty weird. andy bought me $20 worth of mexican souvenirs. i don't think he wants to play the game anymore.

i'll post a link to the pics from mexico. it was a short trip.

poo

andy and i are watching the colbert report (like, right now) and he just mentioned this awesome story about inflatable feces. i usually pay close attention to news headlines, but this one escaped me somehow:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/7558129.stm

homage to yardsaleaddict.blogspot.com

this past saturday andy and i went to a bunch of yard sales in the vinings/buckhead/smyrna area. i mapped about 12 of 'em out on thursday night and friday afternoon with the help of craigslist, ajc classifieds, and the "my maps" feature of google maps. with andy's gps and my printed map in hand we were ready to spend saturday morning driving around northwest atlanta looking over people's junk.

unfortunately we got a late start (after 9am). but we really weren't looking to buy anything anyway so it didn't make much of a difference. we found a cluster of sales that weren't on my pre-planned route that were puny and we didn't stop. we hit one estate sale in the bunch. it was probably the worst stop of the day, only because my expectations were high since the last estate sale i had been to was really kickass. this one was grungy, and the lady running the sale hadn't even bothered to clean up and organize anything. it was way too obvious that someone had recently died. *shudder.* i did manage to find a prize for my mom buried in a box with a bunch of old books and random stuff. she will be pleased.

the last stop of the morning was the coolest yard/garage sale ever. this sale ruled because:

• all items were either clearly displayed on a table or neaty organized in boxes
  
• items were clean and in good condition
  
• home owners were friendly and willing to negotiate prices

the only thing that sucked about this yard sale was that it started on friday, and we didn't show up until around 11am on saturday, so most the good stuff was gone. the homeowner had all this really cool historical stuff like bayonets, books, and civil war memorabilia. he also had collectibles and other useless (but awesome) stuff. andy saw a metal pencil sharpener that was shaped like a toilet but didn't buy it because it was three dollars. big mistake. i wish i had gotten a picture of it.

i don't like random-ass babies

the people that run this google blogger site are mocking me with photos of babies when i log in... and you know how much i love random babies. yikes. here's a screenshot:



i heard an audio clip on the bert show (q100) of anderson cooper talking about how bad "living lohan" is. i tried watching it when it first aired and it was so bad, and i love those kind of shows. but this one sucks so bad. good ol' anderson cooper shares my sentiment:




*this video may be hard to watch/listen to if you are annoyed by kelly ripa. waaaaay to perky for me*

wednesday

it drives me nuts the way magazines are numbered: ads aren't numbered, and some features don't show the page number. i swear i was thumbing through "people" trying to find p. 119 for like 5 minutes.

and speaking of "people" magazine, the special issue with brad & angie and the brood came in the mail to our office yesterday. this issue has a 19-page family album. it's so stupid. kinda made me nauseous. for one, i don't like babies (or photos of babies). i also know that brad & angelina's babies and future babies are and will be good-looking, so i don't really need to see them. if these children were albino, or really fat, or conjoined twins then i'd probably wanna check that out. oh and one of their adopted kids, maddox, has a blue mohawk. i think he's like 5. i can imagine angie/brad suggesting to the stylist that maddox get a blue mohawk, you know, so other kids will think that he's cool, just in case they forget who his dad is.

so i bought a used ibook before i realized my ipod nano doesn't work with 10.3.9. can i borrow 10.4 from someone? anyone? i'm also bummed because an upgrade will make photoshop go bye-bye. oh and i still need to sell my acer. wanna buy it? i'll make you a deal!