3 years of blogging, and some toilet humor

if you glance at the archive menu on the right of the page you'll see that i've been blogging for a solid three years.  amazing that i kept it up. it's filled with as much pointless stuff as ever, and i don't intend to stop any time soon.

random anecdote: andy went to ulta with me yesterday. all i needed was to return a few things that i ended up not giving as Christmas gifts and pick up one or two things for myself. i knew he wouldn't want to go in there but he's nice so he tagged along.  i was browsing for products and he came up to me and said you know what this store needs? -i already knew what he was going to say - an area for men, like a man-cave.  i agree. but i said "well you know they have products for dudes" but he wasn't amused. funny.  but i will say, there's something oddly satisfying about a man who only buys his personal care products at grocery stores.


my coworker, "champ," was proud to show me a menu from a local thai/chinese restaurant:

i guess this explains the "special brown sauce" that is referenced in some entrees.

he asked me if i liked crab angels and thrust the paper menu at me.  when i saw the mistake, he said he thought it was good blog material.  i didn't think it was too great, but since it's been a while since i've posted i figure i'd humor him, and now it's turned into a decent post, i think. so yes, it's interesting that the mistake is on both the printed menu and the website.  this leads me to believe that there may be a situation that needs to be investigated, ie. i may need to eat lunch at this place or at least get takeout. here's the conversation that followed, perhaps you'll find it humorous.

andy gives kfc the middle finger

you've heard of kfc's double down:

mmmm...obesity.

now i present to you, the andy parsons triple play:

bacon, cheese, hamburger flanked by chickfila breakfast fillets.

this creation was made possible by naomi & brandon sparks. they both work at the chickfila corporate office and came through with the good stuff this weekend:

why is this stuff so effin' good? also, if you're wondering why brandon't shirt looks photoshopped, it's because i needed to cover up a particular offensive logo.

it's a wonder i don't weigh 300 lbs

you know, i was just thinking about how i've eaten some really good food lately. i guess that's kinda stupid to blog about, but what disturbs me more is the fact that i'm thinking about my recent meals and snacks in the way one would think about his childhood friend. leads me to believe that i like food a little too much. not that i'm getting fat and need to stop eating or anything, but sometimes people are shocked by my enthusiasm over meals. "people" being friends, family, waitstaff, and well, myself. and then i have to play it off like i'm joking or just being wacky.

i wouldn't dare withhold details about these great foods. food from bakeries, restaurants, costco, etc. some of these i just discovered for myself; others have been long-time favorites. i feel that i shouldn't be the only one enjoying these delicacies, so i am sharing the wealth:

green giant white shoepeg corn in butter sauce - this can get confusing because they sell white shoepeg corn minus the sauce, corn niblets in sauce, and some other variety of corn probably with sauce. make sure you get the exact product i named or you will be disappointed. it comes in a small box.

figo - don't get the ravioli because the serving size is meager. there's a vinings location now thank goodness. i dig the linguine w/ checca sauce, andy likes the spinach fettucine w/ siciliana. it's inexpensive. i'm getting hungry thinking about it. aww rats.

rold gold honey wheat braided pretzel twists - i discovered these today because no one in my office eats them and there were 4 bags. the ones i ate came out of a baked lays variety chip box from costco. i am assuming you can buy a bigger bag at a grocery store.

chocolate cream pie - the mother of all chocolate pies made by the good people at metrotainment bakery in atlanta. so good. i don't usually go bananas over chocolate stuff (i'm more of a pound/cheese cake eater) but even thinking about it makes me happy.

multigrain cheerios - i've never liked cheerios: plain, honey-nut, or any other variety. i tried these because i had a $1 off coupon. they were freakin' awesome.

willy's tomatillo salsa - better than moes. wanna know how many of those little salsa cups i use during a meal at willys? even i don't know, because i have started bypassing the small cups and now i just fill up a cup that's usually for water. sometimes the consistency varies and sometimes it's too oniony, but boy, when it's good - which is more often than not - i pretty much just drink the stuff.

soup garden restaurant - in the strip mall with bedbathbeyond on cobb pkwy @ akers mill. oh my, where to start with this one? everything here is good. andy's ecstatic because they finally have eggs with the shell removed. they have pickled okra, which is definitely the best thing on the salad bar (jason's deli recently took it off their salad bar, those bastards). i can make a meal outta those bad boys. and there's mama rosa chicken soup. tuna pasta salad. freakin' ginger bread!! for best results go at lunch time, just before noon. if you stick with water for your beverage i think the price is reasonable.

pocky - japanese. thin bread stick coated with chocolate or other flavors. tastes like cookies, but better. i like strawberry. can be bought at world market. katie smith introduced me to these back in the mid 1990s. her dad brought some back from japan and we went nuts. i kinda forgot about them until i saw some maybe 8 years ago. it's impossible for me to go into a world market store and not buy pocky.

fellini's house salad dressing - i guess you'd call it a creamy italian. has to be unhealthy. tastes amazing. sometimes i'll go in there and just get a cup of dressing. the people that work there never know what to charge me so i just give them a dollar (unless bobby is working, he'll give it to me for free). andy likes it so much he drinks it. ask him about that sometime.

archer farms fruit strips - naomi included one of these in my birthday card. i was like, what the hell is this? but then i ate it, and now i understand. they can be found at target.

i could go on.

tastes like burning

new food in my neighborhood:

pollo brassa - this is a casual rotisserie chicken place in the old giorgio's pizza location across from post collier hills apartments. peruvian flare. i feel bad making judgments on this place since it's very new and they don't really have their shit together, but i'll give you the scoop. really tasty chicken. weird atmosphere. still feels like giorgios except it's brighter and there's no pizza. they need to ditch the foam cups and plastic cutlery. i have a feeling the disposable stuff is due to the newness. anyway, i left smelling like a rotisserie. not a good thing. seriously, the smell permeated every fiber of my clothes. i wore the same jeans again the next day to work and i smelled like burning. i probably even tasted like burning. heh.

bone garden cantina - really cool mexicanish place by the guys who brought you the vortex. i say "mexicanish" because although the food is definitely mexican, the servers look like they're straight out of a used record shop in little five points. or they're georgia state students. probably both. this place is on ellsworth industrial blvd between howell mill & marietta blvd. my friend walter has been telling me about this place for months. luckily i convinced my friends that six feet under was a bad idea (see post from february 27), and we wound up here. the restaurant is a part of the "lumber yard" complex which is really cool but smelled like a used diaper filled with indian food inside a rotten pumpkin, according to chad. so that was kinda nasty. the restaurant is small but the decor is awesome. total skeleton theme. there are custom paintings and sculptures that will definitely scare the kids. the menu is one of those a la carte deals which allows you to sample a lot of things, but doing so can get expensive if you're super-hungry. i kinda felt like i was gambling since i wasn't familiar with a lot of the items and wasn't sure how big the portions were. after i had ordered i got scared because heard this lady at the neighboring table say "this is nasty," directly to the server. anyway, i got a tilapia taco and a pork sope (pronounced SOH-peh) and both were awesome. i could have eaten another taco but my cheapness held my stomach in check. oh and the guacamole was great but not worth $4. so i'll definitely be back here as long as someone else is treating.

some thoughts as i decide whether or not i should take a nap before hockey

not worth it: the restaurant "six feet under" in midtown. i cannot speak for the original on memorial drive, for i have never eaten there. andy & i went to this joint for someone bday. i got this combination fried seafood basket for $13. the waiter brought it out and andy thought it was someone's appetizer. now, i know that as americans we are all used to oversize portions, but i seriously could have put away two of those things no problem, in addition to my small salad. also, they don't have red stripe beer, and you pretty much have to use their valet parking service (says "complimentary" but we all know what that means). the atmosphere of the place isn't bad, and apparently andy's entree was quite delicious, but i say save your money and hit up captain d's for the fried stuff.

loser: luke menard on american idol. not only does he seem kinda lame, but he's not even that good *and* he makes himself out to be pretty boring. each week the am. idol production team interviews the contestants and then airs a portion of each before the solos. this week the idols were supposed to share something about themselves that "america" might be surprised to know. to me, this means talk about stuff other than singing. one guy said "i drag race cars." another said he's a competitive tennis player, and one dude admitted to being addicted to crossword puzzles. so this luke guy elaborates on how he's in this all boy "a cappella" group. ok, we already know you like to sing. i wanted to hear stuff about an emu ranch or a sixth toe, i dunno, something unusual and well, non-lame.

pathetic: maybe you've heard of the "connecticut school of broadcasting" from their ads on q100 and the former 99x. i recently got a mailer from them. if this school had any credibility, it's lost most of it now, because the ad reads "CBS" rather than "CSB" in one place and mentions "perspective students." oops.

amusing: t mobile store on windy hill (in the complex with barkers red hots & nice cafe) is called "center of wireless." seems to me that store's owner is a native spanish-speaker.

just a few things

annoyances:

1. the fact that my office's phone number is one digit different from the atlanta housing authority's main line. i mean, think about the kinds of people who might call the aaha. hm. i've also taken it upon myself to give out the *correct* number for the housing authority to confused people. the other day i answered the phone to some lady yelling at me how she faxed in her form but hadn't heard back from anyone. i was entertaining her complaints because, sadly, we often get phone calls from angry people who haven't received responses, but then she started yelling about random stuff not relating to a civil case. i told her she had the wrong number but i guess she thought that was a diversion tactic since she kept ranting. just an annoyance, that's all.

2. people who create problems out of nothing. for example, one of my coworkers told me how she was under a huge amount of stress because she has to find a new nanny for her kids. she said that she was going to fire her current nanny, who the kids adore, because she's had a bad attitude lately. i'm like, well, you could save yourself a lot of stress by, uh, let's see...NOT FIRING HER. hey, at least she doesn't steal from you.

3. wendy's french fries are thinner than they were a while back

4. all the people ahead of me in line at the post office who could totally use the automatic postage machine but don't, because they're old and/or retarded.