i love eBay [and young girls]

back from vacation. will post some stories later.

so i am browsing eBay for a cocktail dress. i know that sounds poor/stupid/risky, but you can get some insane deals on really nice clothes if you stick to brands/designers you're familiar with. the really cheap stuff comes from the dresses that were worn once and then cast aside. i'm looking for another dress by the same designer as my current favorite dress (BCBG max azria). i found a cute one for next-to-nothing, but had some concerns about the neckline & how it fit in the bust area since it's a different shape than the dress i own...don't wanna look like a complete ho at andy's office holiday party (just a partial ho). i emailed the seller a question, as any savvy eBayer would do, and figured since the seller was a lady she'd be willing to help a sister out. read and be amused:

Dear [username]

this looks like a great dress. i own another bcbg max azria dress, size 6 and it's my favorite dress, which is why i'm looking for another. the problem is that i'm afraid my top's gonna pop out, since this dress has a deep v. i wear bra size [TMI]. might i ask what size bra you wear and how the dress fits you, or if you have a photo of yourself in the dress that you can email me? i'd buy the dress right now, but am concerned about how the top fits....

[alright, i knew it was kinda personal to ask for a photo, but i've done this a few times and no one seems to have a problem with it, they just crop out their head or blur the face a little. and i only asked because it was apparent that the seller was female and was selling it as an individual, not a business.]

Dear skippy304,

Um, "Skippy", this was not my dress. I have 3 lovely, beautiful daughters between the ages of 19 and 23. None of them is going to model the dress for you. Sorry about that. I've given dimensions and other than that, frankly, I don't know what to tell you. If you do own BCBG, you're pretty familiar with how this line is cut. And I must say, in all honesty, that this is one of the creepiest requests I've ever had from anyone. I'm a 58 year old woman with my doctorate in educational administration, and frankly I hope I'm reading too much into your request.

- [username]


Dear [username],

Sorry if I offended you, I wasn't trying to be a creeper. Perhaps my user name threw you off. I am a 27 year old woman and was just hoping for a bit more insight since I can't try the dress on. For what it's worth, I've got a BS in computer science.


i was tempted to write "thanks for the info. in that case, i'm most interested in photos of your daughters when they were 8, 9 years old." (that line courtesy of my coworker, doug). anyway, seller responded that, yes, my user name did indeed throw her off. that was all she wrote. then i visited her "about me" page on eBay and here's the good stuff:

"Hello, friends and fellow Ebayers...I'm the mother of two wonderful daughters...

[wait, earlier she said she had 3...did one of them die?]

...both of whom are now in college. My youngest is a freshman at Virginia Tech, where she's majoring in Human Nutrition and planning to obtain her Master's degree in Public Health as well. She hopes to work with an international children's relief agency, providing nutritional information and assistance to those who need it the most. Our oldest daughter is studying to be a social worker at Temple University. One is tiny, blond and has green eyes; the other is 6' tall, with dark hair and blue eyes. They are such extraordinary children, both of whom I'm very proud....

[ok, maybe the 3rd daughter is a troll so she gets no mention]

I've found some wonderful, wonderful buys on Ebay. During a recession, there are so many opportunities to purchase truly unique, special items and give them a good new home - at great prices! I pride myself on superior customer service, with a personal touch."

did ya get that last part? nice. i still might buy the dress. it's $30 which is a fantastic deal. if it does end up looking really slutty, i'll be sure to take a photo of my ample bosom & post it here for all the creepers out there.