a story to distract you from wondering if i've found a job yet (no, i haven't)

well, i finally saw the harry potter movie.  right before the movie started, some people came in with their baby.  not their two year old, but a baby in a carrier seat thingy who needed to be entertained with a noisy rattle toy. i don't even think i need to explain why that was a problem.

and then the crown jewel of all "stupid people on craigslist" stories:

i posted an ad on craigslist to try to sell my two giant canvases. these things are awesome but are just way too big for our new apartment. i bought them (from a woman who listed them on craigslist) when i moved into the condo w/ the super-high ceilings back in february and they were really cool. anyway, here's the ad:

(i'm posting a screenshot since a link will only be valid for the duration of the listing)

The ad gives you all the important information, like the price, how big they are, and the condition. Last night, i got the following question over email:

          How much for your art paintings?

Really, you weren't able to get that info from the ad?  Just in case she wasn't the one who saw the ad, say, her room mate saw it and quickly texted the girl to email me about them, I simply replied, "$120 for both." What I really wanted to say was something like "um, did you even read the ad, asshat?" Of course I would never jeopardize a sale by doing that, but it took an enormous amount of restraint not to.  She responded with a counteroffer, and I replied "Sure, that's fine, as long as you've got a big truck, these things are massive," just reiterating the fact that the paintings were very large.

Next morning I find this question in my inbox, from the same girl:

          Wow well can you give me the measurement of the width. All I have is a pt cruiser but maybe could borrow my room mates truck.

Again, all I wanted to do was type back "OMG?!  DID YOU EVEN READ THE AD? I STRONGLY SUGGEST THAT YOU READ THE AD because you're asking me stupid questions. here's the link..." But again, I dug deep and was able to summon the strength to reply with the dimensions (but only after typing out hateful retorts & quickly deleting them). I really think she never even saw the ad, there's just really no other excuse for it.

some denver stuff, and an anecdote about why i hate going to the movies

the day of my first blog post in denver, 7.11, i actually did get around to taking the train into downtown & locating a chickfila.  took me about 15 minutes to walk to the rail station, and the train takes 30 minutes to get to downtown. a round trip ticket is a little more expensive than i would like - $8.00, since i have to travel in 3 zones. anyway, i got off at the 16th & california stop, right in the middle of the outdoor mall area.  it was about 1pm so the place was still bustling from all the business peeps lunching in the area.  i found the chickfila in the bottom of a food court area, but it was a chickfila express where everything's hanging out under the heat lamps. i mean come on, even some of the crappiest malls have full service chickfilas...the fare was good as expected, but i was a little forlorn since i was alone. it was weird so i ate really fast. then after lunch i walked a few blocks, turned around, went in a few stores then took the train home. it was an uneventful outing, but figured i'd report on it anyway.

so the big event everyone's waiting for around here is the grand opening of the IKEA in centennial. it's about 5 miles from our apartment and of course there are people camping out to get free stuff, and the news reports on it every night.  people talk about it, totally jazzed, and i'm like "been there, done that." but honestly, we kinda need some stuff so we'll probably go anyway.

here's an observation about denver in general: people here drive at or under the speed limit. it's a little weird. every now and then you'll see a few people in a hurry, but they are few and far between (or it's us going 4 or 5 mph over). coming from a land where 55 mph means 75 mph, i've really never seen anything like it. in addition, drivers seem to be a much more courteous bunch out here. they obey the markings on the road, they let you merge, and they actually yield to pedestrians.

as to what i've been up to these days: job hunting. job researching. interviewing. trying not to spend money or eat too much. not playing hockey (but sent in our free-agent forms!), but doing a fair amount of jogging since it's a free activity. haven't seen the new harry potter movie yet, mainly because i hate going to the theater. if it's not the kid pushing on my seat back with his feet it's somebody texting during the movie, or some whiny toddler who shouldn't be there anyway. andy and i went to see some movie one sunday morning (pretty much the only time i'll go) and the place was empty; we sat in the exact center of the room. two people came in after us, just after the lights dimmed, and i shit you not, they entered the row we were sitting on, walked in front of us, kindly left one empty seat, and sat down. really?! i get that you want to sit in the middle, but seriously, why?  who does that? and then of course i looked like the crazy bitch for gathering up all out stuff and moving down. sheesh.  so yeah, i usually go once a year (for the harry potter / twilight movies), and even if the movie is ok the experience has me exclaiming afterward, "see, THAT is why i never go to the movies!!"  but if theatergoers here are half as courteous as the drivers, i might just be able to tolerate it.

and i'll never know how this one turned out...

woooo, i have the internet (and tv) at home now so the regular blogging can resume!

if you know me well, you may recall the story about my car being towed from andy's visitor lot about 2 years ago. i blogged about it here, but didn't include a lot of detail. the main point is that some annoying elderly person on the parking committee had my car towed at 2:30am.  the whole thing was completely unnecessary - several witnesses (woken up by the noise, of course) identified the perpetrator and told me the lot wasn't even full at the time. this person broke procedure and failed to put a warning sticker on my car.  it was obvious he/she was just trying to prove a point by being an asshole. ugh, elderly assholes are the worst, because i almost start feeling sorry for them.

anyway, the night before the big move to denver, andy was going through his stuff and found his parking warning stickers and tow stickers (he had been on the committee as well). all it took was for him to say "hey, maybe we should put these on so-and-so's car before we move out" and, well, see for yourself:

ok so i know this is really lame revenge, but i didn't want to give this person any reason to call the cops for destruction of property or something. figured i'd leave it as a harmless prank. so, we'll never know what happened, because the car was still there the next day as we were moving out, just as we left it. and then we left atlanta for denver.

i'm in Denver now & finally getting around to posting something

We won't have internet & tv in our apartment until thursday.  it really sucks. i blame andy.  i wanted to order comcast the week before we moved so we could have the cable guy come asap, but andy hates comcast (something about it monopolizing the market...yadda, yadda). he was considering another provider and just never got around to making a decision. so i can't decide what's worse: missing the start of the new season of MTV's "teen mom" or not being able to check facebook every few hours. luckily i found my antenna that goes with my hd receiver for my computer so andy hooked it up to the big screen, and now we can get a few channels over the air in hd.  it's definitely better than nothing.  and since i'm sitting here in my apartment complex's business center i'm going to make this a short post.  it's cold, random people look at what you're doing online, the mouse doesn't work well, and worst of all i'm being forced to use a pc.  ugh, such an injustice.

so i had a thought this morning as i was getting dressed, trying to pick out a t-shirt to wear: i've got a ton of shirts that say stuff like "aspen" and "durango, colorado" and "winter x games," you know, cool stuff.  they're some of my favorite shirts.  would wearing one of these now that i live in colorado kinda be like wearing a 311 t-shirt to a 311 concert? nobody wants to be that guy.

btw, i'm jonesing for chickfila right now and i don't have a car...i might take the train to downtown and walk.  it's a 15+ minute walk to the light rail station near my apartment which is a little further than i'd like.  oh well.  i'll let you know how that goes.

upcoming road trip

if you're completely out of the loop, andy & i are moving from atlanta to denver on july 5th.  hired a moving crew to pack, load, drive & unload.  the plan is to drive (separately) to my mom's house in dalton, drop my car off for her to sell, then head to nashville to see my brother. after nashville we'll go to eureka springs, arkansas. next stop was tricky to figure out - i had to ask around to see if anybody could recommend a town or place to stay out in the middle of nowhere. the winner?  liberal, kansas.  my coworker luz (who is moving to colorado...eventually) said she & her husband stayed at a great bed and breakfast inn.  so i was like ok, sold. this morning she brought me a brochure for the place and for the visitor center. now, i'm from a smallish town so i dont really have much to make fun of, but i'll do it anyway:

1. went to the website printed on the blue bird inn's brochure. it went to some page in japanese. i'm not going to link to it just in case its got some crazy malware that installs itself, its a little suspicious.  i guess i better make sure this place is still around before i plan to stay there.

2. and this... the brochure mentioned the liberal bee jays.  naturally i went to the web for more info.  i went ahead and did a screen capture just in case the web page changes drastically from what you see here:

hey kids, how many hilarious jokes can you spot?

unfortunately we won't have much time to see all that liberal, kansas has to offer. and i'm really NOT looking forward to driving through any of kansas. arkansas, fine.  kansas, not fine. 

free money

a few weekends ago i found a bunch of foreign coins in a drawer that i was either collecting for no reason or saving just in case i was to travel abroad again.  beats me.  i figured it was about $10 US so i took the coins home with me. today i went to exchange them for US dollars.  i went to the big wells fargo bank across from my office. teller #1 said sorry we don't do that, try the airport.  and i'm like, uh, you're a bank.  in a major city.  and you can't exchange my coins?  supervisor overheard our conversation and said, yes, we can exchange foreign currency, so teller #2 (my favorite teller, jessica watson jackson!) started counting it all out.  among the british coins and euro coins and a few mexican peso coins i had one coin for the new hampshire tollway system. awesome. as jessica was bagging it all up, the same supervisor came over and said, oh, we don't exchange coins, we only exchange paper money.  i'm like what the hell kind of bank is this? confused, i said "well, is there any place nearby that might exchange them for me?" and she said go to the airport.  huh.  last time i checked the airport was 22 miles from me.  not exactly "nearby."

meh.

the big news

last week i posted a somewhat cryptic photo of my boyfriend andy & me on facebook, with the caption "um...we've got some news...."  actually, here it is again:

since this is only a photo of ourselves and not of an
engagement ring or a baby bump, one should realize that
the graphic on the shirts is the only clue to what the "news" is.   

now, understand that i was being purposefully ambiguous, ya know, just to jack with people.  family, close friends, & coworkers had already heard the news, and people from our hockey league kinda got it because they recognized the logos on our shirts.  i didn't expect the majority of the facebook audience to get it, only because this is not a familiar logo, but at least one of my previous room mates was on the right track when she said "are you moving to canada?"

anyway, we're moving to denver, colorado. i guess i'll have a lot more stuff to blog about when i get out there. here are my priorities for the next few weeks:

• finding a place to live
• finding someone to take over my lease here
• figuring out logistics of a cross-country move
• hanging out with my best buds one last time
• finding a job
• selling my car
• organizing my stuff

ugh. i've already started organizing all my stuff, like, junk thats been in boxes in my mom's attic for years.  i have a bunch of notebooks full of old school crap and even though its pretty organized already i'd rather not have four notebooks full of it. so i've been scanning some stuff & tossing the papers.  i started with the georgia tech stuff. obviously i didn't hang on to all of it after i completed the courses, but i held onto most of my test & quizzes. and then i came across my degree petition & started looking at my transcript.  even though i managed to graduate with honor i didn't do that well in some of my major courses (remember cs 2130?  yeah, i had to repeat that one.  cs 2200?  you betcha, took that one twice as well). performed poorly on tests at the beginning and lost all motivation. didn't do any more work & just went to the lake instead. i used to think it'd be hard fail a class.  like, even if you turned in some work you could manage a D. well, actually, it's pretty damn easy to fail a class, you just don't do anything.  amazing how that works. one semester i actually had a 0.0 GPA, granted, i only took one course. but i'm sure the square root club would let me in.

hordes of zombies

here's a recent email announcement from my office building's management:

nobody panic, the gunfire is simulated.  the horde of zombies, however...

career change

here are two recent ads that were on my facebook sidebar:

YIKES!!

wow, these ads really make me want to become a social worker. damn. and i'm really hoping that the image of the child in ad #2 was digitally altered. 

----

now, for a bit more relevant information: it's freaking hot outside.  and my a/c stopped pumping out cold air.  thankfully my landlord got a repair guy there the next morning...and apparently the compressor in this brand new hvac unit broke. last night it was 86 degrees even with the ceiling fans on, which meant i hung out at andy's (and played snood for 3 hours).  i'm expecting a portable a/c in my unit when i get home from work, and i'm praying that the guy who set it up didn't leave it running all day.  that would deserve a kick in the nuts. 

summer rec league hockey starts this weekend and andy & i back on the stars roster.  i'll miss gossiping with pam & christine, but i look much better in black than in orange.  

also, i'm going to the beach next week for a family vacation. by family, i mean my brother & his girlfriend marissa, minus the rest of my family, and plus a bunch of his friends.  awesome.

weeks, this one's for you

i couldn't remember the password for my firm's gmail account...so i requested a little password assistance. awesome.

nothing to see here, folks.

ok been a while since i posted, my bad.

here's what i've been up to:

last weekend i went to the masters. my grandmother still gets tickets and we spread them out with family and friends as usual so that the max amount of people can enjoy the experience. it wasn't the first time i had been down there for the masters - in 2007 my brother & i drove down there, the entire round was rained out, and we drove all the way back to atlanta. totally lame. somehow it worked out this year that i was able to get all 4 tickets for one day (friday), so i invited andy and his parents. unfortunately andy got stuck in hinesville, ga doing business stuff so i had to find a replacement. you really wouldn't believe how hard it is to find someone to go to the masters on short notice, especially when they know they have to leave if/when andy finally makes it to augusta. fortunately andy's coworker/friend was willing to make the drive and he was a blast to hang out with and really appreciated the experience. especially the pimento cheese sandwiches for $1.50. i think he ended up buying about $450 worth of merchandise at the request of his family.

can't take cameras or phones inside the gates.

as you can see, andy finally made it around 2pm and so we stayed until almost every group finished. the entire day was totally awesome. i've always kinda poke fun at golf since it's often associated with old retired guys and pleated pants, but watching the pros is a different story.  i've got a whole new perspective on the sport. this young dude, ricky fowler, wears neon puma stuff which is a little crazy (but awesome),  and i only saw a few players wearing pleated pants.

the weekend before that we went camping at tugaloo state park.  it's a ways up I-85 almost to south carolina. we had so much stuff it looked like we were going on vacation for a week. and this is not the kind of camping where you take a pack with all your gear and hike in.  we registered online for a campsite and it was right by the lake...but also right by the road. seriously, our tent was about 3 feet from the edge of the road. it was delightfully chilly and not-so-delightfully windy, but thank goodness no bugs and not too much pollen. we busted out a vintage propane camp stove that andy's dad pulled out of his attic:

why is everything from the late 70s this color green?

still playing on two hockey teams. one with andy on the weekends @ the cooler (rec), and then in a beginner league which is every monday night at the marietta ice center.  rec league season ended last week, our team, the flyers, finished in 5th place out of 10 with 7-4 record so not too shabby.  my other team...well, we have yet to win a game (0-7-1). oh well.

i'm still watching too much tv and eating too many cookies.  think i'll switch to ice cream.

making fun of other people's ads, part 3

this was in the "northside neighbor" community newspaper.  i think it's a nice-looking ad, but read the blurb: 

 a "lifetime" of experience, huh?  they must have used the wrong guy's headshot, because the guy i'm looking at can't be a day over 25.  

here's another ad for a children's consignment store (you may remember this one).  maybe i shouldn't put this on the list of bad ads since it's actually decent...all i'm gonna do is make fun of the business name.  why name it something that is not indicative of the products or services?  maybe i'm missing something.  this is like naming a donut shop "bells and whistles" or a pet store "ace hardware."  ok maybe not that bad, but you get it.

costco WIN

check out this enormous bottle of kirkland vodka andy bought at costco for a mere $27:

so huge it won't even fit in the cabinet. sorry if my enthusiasm is a little over-the-top: the costco that's up the street from me doesn't sell liquor, so we tend to forget about the amazing values that await us at the dunwoody store. and let me tell you, we went on a crazy booze-buying rampage. i mean, it'd be a crime *not* to buy the super-size bottle of makers mark when the price was so good, right?  anyway, it was a great day of buying goods in massive quantities. after scoring such amazing deals on alcohol never again shall we pay too much. never again, my friends.

totally looks like v.2

american idol is back, and you know i'm watching.  i thought i was finished watching this crap after last season, but no, i've been sucked in *again.*  i think the judges found a few legitimately talented people this year (casey abrams) unlike last season's fiascos lee dewyze and crystal bowersox. sheesh. anyway, here are mine & andy's thoughts on a few of the contestants who totally look like other people:

naima totally looks like the alien "diva" in the movie the fifth element. the aqua dress really sealed the deal on this one, although the resemblance is most notable when she sang in the wild card round this past week. personally, i don't think she's anything worth getting excited over.

and then we have ashley. probably the most unattractive person to make it to the final rounds of hollywood week. thank goodness she got cut. she looks like a meth-head, so i have her pictured below with two "faces of meth."  i think that ashley was also one of the worst singers they put through to hollywood and i can't believe she almost got on the show. if you want to hear how bad she is, check out her initial audition on you tube.

and now for the obvious - casey abrams & seth rogen: 

if you're not up on how awesome this guy is, you need to check out casey's performance of georgia on my mind and i put a spell on you. he's the real deal.

more awesome/awful ads

my friend melanie forwarded this to me in an email. she saw it on a poster at her daughter's elementary school (brookwood school in dalton) and couldn't resist taking a photo:

whoever designed this either is getting high-fives, or got fired. i mean really, it doesn't take a pervert to see that what we have here is a penis in a hat.

and this ad was in people magazine.  what the...? first of all, people magazine usually has very high-quality ads.  this one is just... bad. so bad, in fact, that i actually stopped flipping pages to look at it. so i guess in that respect it's effective?  *sigh.* their website really isn't much better.  i really didn't want to look at it, but my curiosity got the best of me... good job, crappy company.  but i assure you, my awareness won't result in a sale.

andy, mary ellen, & i showed up late for chad & cathy's super bowl party and got iced.  yes, i know that my buddies & i missed the "bros icing bros" bit by about 2 years...so it lives on, and it's still just as hilarious as it was years ago. and you know, i don't mind getting iced because i actually like the taste of those things, it's the chugging i have a problem with. mary ellen took hers like a champ, and i think the only reason my friends decided to ice her along with andy & myself is because she iced me on Christmas day.  payback's a bitch.  a very bubbly and frosty bitch.

chad gets an "a+" for presentation.  

legend of the famous chron

a bit of background:  my name is anne rouse gurley.  rouse was my great-grandmother's maiden name. as a kid i hated it, but it's not so bad anymore - people have so many more things to make fun of me for now than just my middle name.  anyway, a while ago my brother took to calling me "grouse," or any variety of grouse depending on my mood or the time of year, ie. "spruce grouse" during the holidays. one day in mid-october i was in a silly mood so i posted a link to wikipedia's spruce grouse entry on john's facebook wall. a few clicks later i ended up at the famous grouse website. after poking around a bit i discovered that you could customize/personalize your own label for a bottle of famous grouse.  oooh, sign me up. again, it was mid-october so i figured this would be the perfect Christmas gift. unfortunately the company was unable to ship to countries outside the UK, but i figured i'd ask them anyway to see if they'd make an exception:

and the reply

i don't know anyone living in the UK, so it looks like a trip to scotland is on the horizon.  but wait, i know someone who *probably* knows someone living in the UK. my buddy daniel travels extensively and has friends in every corner of the globe, so if anyone had friends in the UK it was him. i asked him about it, and he hooked me up with his friend kathlene, who told me she would be travelling to the US for the Christmas holidays. i told her the story and gave her the game plan. by the time i worked out these logistics and purchased the whisky it was early november.  clearly ahead of schedule. so after the whisky arrived to her in london, i told her how to complete a fedex slip with my account number so that she could simply drop the package off when she got to the US.  still ahead of schedule. unfortunately kathlene's travel plans got messed up due to the ginormous european blizzard that hit right around Christmas, and i failed to remember to give her adequate instructions for shipping alcohol. fail. thanks to her dedication the package arrived in nashville on january 5th.

at last i present to you, in all its splendor - the famous chron:

There once was a Chronathan G. 

who enjoyed his fair share of whisky.

He was known far and wide

for his knack to imbibe,

and this bottle right here - 

it's on me!

boredom + alcohol = really amazing ideas

just got back from snowboarding in utah.  it was nice not having to go to work, but really, we got more snow in atlanta on sunday night than we did in park city, which made for a pretty crappy trip since we planned to spend every day all day on the mountains.  the company was great, but the conditions were terrible, and i won't be going back unless it's free.  i'll gladly revisit solitude & brighton, but park city - listen: we're done.  although i may have to go back for the chicken flautas at baja cantina.  yeah, that'll be it.  those things are epic.

view while riding up the town lift.   i've been to park city mtn three times and this was the first time i'd ever thought to snowboard right into town.  kinda cool.  

after hitting up the hot tub on tuesday afternoon andy & i holed ourselves up in our hotel room at the canyons with some grocery store sushi and booze.  i poured myself a drink - coke zero & makers mark - but had nothing to stir it with. i ripped off one of the giant wax drips from the bottle and stirred my drink with that.  i'm sure i'm not the first person to do that, but andy thought it was a great idea and said i should send the idea to makers mark in the hopes of scoring some free stuff.   then the idea of sending an email to them kinda evolved into us filming a video.

you know how when you're drunk you get ideas that seem really awesome at the time, but are kinda stupid?  *this is the perfect example* 

drunky mcdrunkerson comin' atcha!  

this video was accomplished on the 2nd take and without the use of a script.  we were pretty amused with ourselves.  now it just seems foolish.  

gobbles mcbutterball made the trip.  he doesn't much care for snowboarding though. now that i think about it, i guess i could have stirred my drink with the clean end of a chopstick from the sushi box.  

colonel mustard...in the library...with the rope

ok, here's something unsettling i found in my condo by the front door. it appeared early last week and to my knowledge is still there.

what the...

new door stop, or evidence? damn you, overactive imagination.
(probably just a tool that the landscapers left behind)

now let's talk about the snow & ice situtation.  first day after the snow, totally awesome (unless you had somewhere to be, i guess).  obviously no one was going anywhere, ie. i wouldn't be able to cure any boredom with mindless bargain hunting at tjmaxx. so i left my place to walk around outside and survey the damage.

mmm abandoned cars.

i was scouting for terrain that would make for a good ski run but knew i'd never actually take my snowboard out on the road for fear i'd scrape it up too bad (or hurt myself and/or look like an idiot).  i walked all the way up to my office but figured it was pointless to go in and work.  so i walked home, got some chores done and relaxed a bit.  well, a lot, actually.  i must have launched over 1,000 angry birds.  by the end of the evening i was a little restless and bored.  well, ask and ye shall receive, because around 9pm i heard a loud "kabooooom!!" which of course got me looking out my window.  i thought a car had crashed into the gate or something.  and then i heard it again, followed by the sound of people running on the snow.  check it out:

so thankfully it wasn't a grisly scene and no one was injured.  

leaving for utah on thursday.  hoping the ice melts so we won't have problems getting to the airport. i'm especially stoked about this trip because we're joining naomi & brandon out there (but sad that i'm going to miss the falcons game...lets hope they win b/c i've got tix to the nfc championship game!!)

3 years of blogging, and some toilet humor

if you glance at the archive menu on the right of the page you'll see that i've been blogging for a solid three years.  amazing that i kept it up. it's filled with as much pointless stuff as ever, and i don't intend to stop any time soon.

random anecdote: andy went to ulta with me yesterday. all i needed was to return a few things that i ended up not giving as Christmas gifts and pick up one or two things for myself. i knew he wouldn't want to go in there but he's nice so he tagged along.  i was browsing for products and he came up to me and said you know what this store needs? -i already knew what he was going to say - an area for men, like a man-cave.  i agree. but i said "well you know they have products for dudes" but he wasn't amused. funny.  but i will say, there's something oddly satisfying about a man who only buys his personal care products at grocery stores.


my coworker, "champ," was proud to show me a menu from a local thai/chinese restaurant:

i guess this explains the "special brown sauce" that is referenced in some entrees.

he asked me if i liked crab angels and thrust the paper menu at me.  when i saw the mistake, he said he thought it was good blog material.  i didn't think it was too great, but since it's been a while since i've posted i figure i'd humor him, and now it's turned into a decent post, i think. so yes, it's interesting that the mistake is on both the printed menu and the website.  this leads me to believe that there may be a situation that needs to be investigated, ie. i may need to eat lunch at this place or at least get takeout. here's the conversation that followed, perhaps you'll find it humorous.